Saturday, April 29, 2006

The show must go on

So last night I went to a highschool production of Phantom of the Opera. It was a play, not a musical so that was interesting. Plus I am currently reading the book so it was interesting from that aspect as well. But here is the kind of funny...or not so funny thing that happened at the play.
One of the characters was supposed to run to the steps leading off the stage, take them down and then run out of the theatre through a back door...right as the lights go out. She was carrying a glass lantern with a tiny light in it. Well...I say supposed to because right as the lights went out...a loud crash was heard and she disappeared...pretty sure she ran off the stage...and missed the stairs...as we, the audience, sat and waited to see if that was a part of the play or not in pitch black...I couldn't help but think how much I wanted to laugh...isn't that mean? but people falling over is just plain funny. Any time I myself have fallen...I laugh at myself and I expect that others are laughing. But the thing about this little fall is I think she may have seriously hurt herself...and yet...I still chuckle thinking about it. I'm sure she will be fine in the long run...crutches may be in her future...but what a way to go! She did come back out and finish the next scene but she did not come back out for the bows and she was rumored to be locked in a room crying while they assessed the true damage.
Anyways...it's a rainy day today and I need to go do some Phantom reading to be caught up by monday night when I am having my BBBC girls over to eat and discuss. Good times.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

I feel so blue

okay, so I am a sucker for personality tests...I like to figure myself out...explain why I am the way I am...see if I'm more normal than I think. It helps to see that there are entire catagories of people with my same traits...so I found a fun test through my friend Sunia...and if you are really bored and want to know all about me...well...I have included my results in this blog...if you want to fingure yourself out...I have also included the link.
oh yeah...and if anyone wonders why I'm doing this in the middle of the day...well, it's District Council...endless meetings and talking to people...all good in and of themselves but packed into two days...it gets a little tiring...so I'm taking a little escape into my office before the next session starts, the nice part of DC is that it is held at my church so I can escape to my office when I just can't handle any more. Good times!
http://zenbear.com/personality_test/

The Blue Personality
The Blue personality type is more difficult to describe than the other colors because the Blue's goals are somewhat nebulous, even in the mind of a Blue. However, more than anything else, Blues are in search of themselves. They are absorbed in the act of becoming. While the other colors go after straight-forward desires, the Blues are involved in a perpetual search for self. In a sense, their purpose in life is to have a purpose in life.
Blues are in search of themselves
The quest for self-actualization is never-ending. In a paradoxical statement of purpose, Blues want to become who they really are. This search for identity can cause some Blues guilt, since they feel what they are now is not all they should be. They may go from place to place, idea to idea, seeking their own uniqueness and an elusive unity with self.
Blues need to feel unique
Blues hunger for an identity that is unique. Blues must feel unique. They must feel that they are special. To be just one person among millions--a cog in the machine--is to be nothing. In whatever role they are in, Blues need to be appreciated for their unique contributions. They want to make a difference in the world. They need meaning in their lives.
Blues must be true to themselves
To thine own self be true strikes at the heart of Blues. They value integrity--not the kind of integrity that a Gold might value, dictated by societal conventions and ethics--but integrity of self. They must be true to themselves and their inner potential. To be in harmony with themselves, Blues must be genuine and authentic at all times. To do any less would be to lose the self they are seeking.
Blues look for symbolism
The Blues' desire for significance leads them to live in a world of symbolism. They are extremely sensitive to nuances and subtleties in gesture that are often imperceptible to other colors. They will notice the body language of a person that would totally escape the other colors. They look for metaphoric meanings. Because of this, the added dimensions Blues add to communication are often lost on other colors. Blues are also vulnerable to interpreting messages that are not always meant by other colors.
Blues value close relationships
Blues value close relationships. They bring to relationships a heightened sense of meaning and drama. Their relationships begin with enthusiastic anticipation accompanied by a considerable investment of effort and emotion. Unfortunately, many times they end in disappointment that what could have been was not. Blues give time and energy to a relationship freely, especially as it is developing. They are not necessarily concerned that their efforts be fully reciprocated, as long as some response is given. They are highly romantic and appreciate small tokens of love and symbolic gestures. Blues are deeply devoted and loyal friends.
Blues look beyond the surface
Blues try to see beyond the surface to what is good inside a person. Because of this romanticized view of others, Blues will sometimes remain in unhealthy relationships, always hoping that their partner will change. On the more positive side, in a healthy relationship this patience and optimism can help the relationship continue to thrive. The Blue will always look for something more in others, as in themselves. They cannot believe that the visible is all there is.
Blues share emotions
Blues like to talk about their emotions with others. They are good listeners and excellent communicators. Life, for a Blue, is something to share, feel and experience with other people. They want to understand and they want to be understood. The best way someone can show they love a Blue is to spend time talking, listening and sharing feelings.
Blues make decisions based on feelings
Many people consider Blues to be overly sentimental. Blues make decisions based on their feelings, not logic. The feelings of Blues are hurt easily. They are extremely sensitive to criticism. Blues tend to collect mementos, souvenirs, keepsakes and scrapbooks of things that are meaningful to them. They have many things they are unable or unwilling to throw away. Blues will likely have many photos of people and events that are meaningful to them.
Blues need harmony
Blues are not competitive by nature. A competition implies someone has to lose, and Blues want everyone to be winners. In a conflict, Blues will be more concerned that everyone is satisfied at the end than that their side wins. Though they do not give up their own ideas, Blues will often let others have their own way just to maintain harmony. In a group they will often take the role of the peacemaker. They are very sensitive to and stressed by conflict.
Blues are adaptable
Blues have the ability to appear to those around them as whatever those people want to see. Usually Blues will not find it necessary to correct these impressions. In general, they are very empathetic and are content to let others see whatever it is they seem to need or want. They will only share their personal view of themselves with those very close to them.
Blues are drawn to nurturing careers
There are also many Blues in fields such as psychiatry, counseling, teaching, religion and social work. They are driven by a desire to nurture others. Any career that provides the opportunity to help people develop into warmer, kinder, more loving human beings is likely to appeal to Blues. Blues see the potential good in everyone and devote themselves to cultivate this potential. For this reason, missionary work and the ministry attract Blues, as do social work and charity organizations. Many Blues are willing to make great personal sacrifices to help others find their way in life. Blues try to bring out that which is good in others. Blues can also be found in jobs that require a lot of social interaction, such as receptionists or sales clerks.
Professions that involve transmitting ideas and attitudes also appeal to Blues. Thus, many Blues become teachers (especially at elementary levels), even though Golds usually outnumber the Blues in schools. Blues tend to choose the humanities, arts or social sciences as their areas of interest. Regardless of the occupation, they like to be involved with people and communication. Blues in the work force need to have peace and tranquillity on the job. They do not like working in an environment where there is a lot of tension, disharmony or people arguing. They like peace and harmony.
No occupation is completely filled by one color. Sometimes Blues and Golds are difficult to distinguish because they both are drawn to service occupations. To see the difference, examine their motivation and what they get out of the job. Golds want to take care of the system. Blues want to take care of people. As an example, Blues will be drawn to nursing for the purpose of serving individuals and would enjoy helping, supporting, building relationships, and the opportunity to be with and meet others. Golds see it as a job to be done, and it is their opportunity and responsibility to do it.
Blues get involved in causes
Blues often have a sense of mission and use their creative talents to convert followers to their cause, whatever it might be. Blues are easily involved in causes, though they will not stay long if the cause does not have lasting significance and show itself capable of helping improve the conditions of people.
Blues have sought many ways to find deeper meaning in their lives. The encounter group movement was largely started and attended by Blues seeking an elusive intimacy and intensity in their relationships. They sought to find themselves and get in touch with their feelings. The whole concept of group therapy that involves the open exchange of emotions is intrinsically Blue.
Blues are committed to ideals
Blues often have difficulty limiting the amount of time and energy they devote to work. This is because Blues are drawn to work that matters to them. Blues do not work on impulse; they work toward an ideal. Once Blues make a commitment to a production or endeavor, they are often unable or unwilling to limit their involvement. They can then be unreasonably demanding on themselves and others if it is for a cause or goal to which they are committed.
Blues explore a variety of areas
Unlike Greens, who stake out their area of competency, Blues are liable to move from idea to idea, dabbling in different areas. Like the Orange, the Blue wants to taste the abundance of life. Unlike the Orange, the Blue needs to find meaning in each experience. Blues will often romanticize events. They are more interested in people than in abstractions. Blues think about the possibilities in people rather than in principles or nature.
People matter most to Blues
People matter more than things to the Blue, relationships matter more than abstractions, and interaction is more important than action. As Blues seek to fulfill their potential and find a unique of identity, they come to realize that the process never ends. The important thing is to work toward becoming a final, finished person and help others along that same path.
Blues bring unity to society
The Blue personality is what keeps everyone working together. Blues are the mediators of the world. Blues are those who are always taking care of people's physical and emotional needs. They bring compassion and concern for spiritual matters to society.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

April in my arms

Here is a fun little poem I ran across...April has been an interesting month for me this year...and it's not even over!

Praise the spells and bless the charms,I found April in my arms.April golden, April cloudy,Gracious, cruel, tender, rowdy;April soft in flowered languor,April cold with sudden anger,Ever changing, ever true --I love April, I love you.Ogden Nash (1902-1971)

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks!

I went to a Twins game today...sadly they lost...but I "kept the book" so it was pretty interesting and I think I may actually be to the point where I could do it with out to much help...
On the way to the game we rode the light rail down...some nice older men asked me if I wanted to sit with them since they liked my smile...yeah...I don't think so...and then after I figured out how to not make eye contact with those fellows anymore (sheesh!) this guy got on and he started quoting Psalms 1 at the top of his lungs...only to move on to some other scripture I didn't recognize and then ended with the grand finale of the Lord's Prayer...all the while staring at me while he spoke in his loud southern gospel preacher voice...I think I attract strange people into my life...hmmm...
I was craving milk the entire game though because of this HUGE gallon of milk they had displayed...I'm going straight to the grocery store tonight to get me some!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

massieham

This is actually an Arabic word and I have no idea how to spell it...but it sounds something like what it looks like...it means "he is risen". I spent my Easter this year with a Lebanese family. The Ramy family...I jokingly called myself Jamie Ramy that day...gotta love the rhyming. It was a very fun and relaxing day...I even tried the dish that was made from raw lamb...and it was good...who knew?! granted, it was a little strange to think about but once you got past that it was enjoyable. All in all a very fun Easter.
So here is my random story that happened on this fine Easter day. As we were driving to Mankato to join the festivities of Easter, we looked out the window on our drive at one point, right outside of St. Peters, and saw two cop cars, a trailer with the door down, a bloodhound dog and it's handler, a four wheeler with two guys in camouflage and then a bunch more cop cars...of course we slowed down to take in the sights and took our guesses as to what it could all be about...then moved on to other topics and didn't think to much about it. Well, after the day ended, as I was curling up on the couch at home later that night to watch some TV, my friend Rachel calls and says she just saw the news and that apparently 4 guys had escaped from a security hospital in St. Peters...they had caught three of them but one is still out and had stolen a car. We had driven right by the search party. An interesting end to an interesting Easter.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

me? and easter egg? who knew...

happy easter to all who read my blog...and to my concerned sister and sister in law...my current top 8 is my small tribute to easters gone by...the regulars will be put back into my top 8 some other day...you have to share your spots today with people I am remembering fondly. And mom...I have never been called someone's precious little easter egg before...thanks and I love you too.
yeah for pastels! (I am rebelling and wearing black...)
Have fun today! Jesus is alive!

Friday, April 14, 2006

The magic is in the story and the story is in the hat

This is my hat story, as requested by my friend Kristen...it is an adaptation of a story I read once...

One day I went to a fair. At the fair there were many stalls with clothes, toys and household things for sale. As I walked by the stalls I saw one place with lots of hats for sale. Suddenly, I thought I saw one of the hats do tricks, talk and smile at me - talk and smile at me? How can a hat talk and smile I thought? I ran over to look at the hats. There were no hats doing tricks anymore but, in my mind I saw a picture of someone talking - and smiling - Did I imagine it? Because the hat did not have a face... Or did it have a face hiding somehow on the hat? And did it move? Did it? I decided to watch it VERY carefully. (That hat has an itchy nose I thought, and, an itchy upper lip.) Then I thought I felt a kiss. I turned around - and turned around - and turned around. Where did the kiss come from? Then I fell in love with the hat. I just had to have the hat. So I decided to buy it. And so -- the hat came home with me and we lived happily ever after.
The End

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Thursday, April 13, 2006

communication is a complicated thing

One of my teachers emailed me this story today...this was a conversation in our Rainbow 3 room last night, once again...I love kids.

A teacher was sitting at the snack table trying to keep 5 little bodies still long enough to drink water and have some animal crackers. She decided to tell an Easter story to keep it seasonal.Well, the part I heard went something like "The people were shouting HOSANNA, HOSANNA in the highest" so she asked the kids if they could say Hosanna which they replied in unison "HOOOSANNA" which quickly became "whosanna" followed by "Who's Anna?". So Eli looks at William and loudly says "Who's Anna?" then answering himself he lightly taps William on the nose and says "You're Anna!" to which William replied "NO! You're Anna!" Priceless and relevant Who is Anna anyway?

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

my face

so I realize this isn't an original thought but I was thinking about it and I have never seen my own face...no one has ever seen their own face...we've only ever seen a reflection or a picture...I want to see my own face...wanting something you can't have...hmmm...like a million dollars...that would be nice.
so funny story tonight at church...this little girl comes up to me to help get her checked into her class and her mom was also there...I started talking to the little girl and before I knew it, she had announced in a loud voice that her mom was going to start working at Hooters. Her mom gasped and turned red and tried to find out where her daughter possibly heard that and laughed all nervous, blamed it on the grandma...haha yeah...I love kids.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

conga lines and hugging

two reasons I normally avoid women's events...seriously...but I had free tickets so I just laughed at the people in the conga line and only hugged people I knew and it really wasn't all that bad in the end :-)
The thing that made it valuable to my life was the topic that was taught on all weekend. Legacy. This is something I have devoted a lot of thought to. I want to pass on a Godly legacy so bad I can taste it. I want my life and my decisions to be a reflection of who God is to me, and I want it to matter to the people in my life in a way that makes them want the same thing.
I knew there are a few people reading my blog who don't even believe in God much less understand why I want to leave a Godly legacy. I'm praying for you that someday you will understand. Ask the hard questions...search...make sure that whatever conclusions you come to, they are your own and you are satisfied with the answers.
Anyhow...one thing about Legacy that I had never really thought through before was how it related to your life beyond family. How your legacy effects all the different people in your life...like my nephew Beck...or the teens I have working in the nurseries at church...or my intern who I adore and see so much good in...what am I leaving with them? I hope it is a taste of who God is...the kind of taste that makes you want more...more of this loving God who is such a mystery at times and such a comfort at others.
One other thing at this conference...Sara Groves did a concert...that lady speaks my language. But my all time favorite song she sang wasn't even her own...it's a song I remember my mom singing all the time when I was little. An old hymn I think...
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, there's just something about that name. Master, Savior, Jesus, like a fragrence after the rain. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, let all heaven and earth proclaim. Kings and kingdoms will all pass away but there's something about that name.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

a moment in my day

It was beautiful out today and part of my afternoon was spent running to our Eagan campus and running to Barnes and Noble to get a book I'm supposed to read. My gas light went on as I was out and about so I stopped to fill up. Being that it was beautiful out and there wasn't a line to the carwash, I decided that today was the day to finally wash winter away from my pretty blue Jeep. I don't particuarly love getting my car washed with me in it because I kind of hate the feeling of being trapped and so my heart tends to race and I turn the music up loud to distract myself. Today as I was singing along to the radio at full blast the water started pelting the sides of my jeep, working their way from front to back...when all of a sudden I realized...my drivers side door does not seal, it used to seal, but no longer. Water was spraying in all over me and I was squealing and trying to block it from hitting me in the face...yeah...and of course once you are in a car wash...you are committed...there's no stopping it...I found a glove and tried to use it to shield my face as the next round of water passed by...totally ineffective. Anyways...by the time the car wash was over, the inside of my cab was a little drippy as was the left side of my face...good times. I guess I will be washing my car with a hose from now on in my back yard...sheesh!

Monday, April 03, 2006

words cannot express...

...the deep sadness I feel right now. I just went to grab dinner at Taco Bell...and...sob...in it's place is a bulldozer...Why God Why?!!

Sunday, April 02, 2006

random thoughts

So I'm killing a little time...I'm picking up Twon and Beth from the airport in a little while and figured it would be just as easy to stay here as drive home and then practically turn around to go get them. So since I have no messages and I've run out of people to ask to be my friend in a quest to beat my brother in a stupid contest...blogging is the next best thing.
First-I thought it was so fun to see who replied to my post about commenting with memories...hilarious some of the stuff people remember in relation to me...some of the stuff would be exactly what I would have said and some of it was only vaguely familiar. My friend Vinnie called myspace a nostalgia machine and I agree...lots of the people on my friends list are people I don't see everyday but it's so nice to be able to check-in now and occasionally laugh about something we once did together.
Second-Today after church I met the most darling young boy. He was absolutely precious. He was like a man trapped in a little boys shoes but still all little boy...I found out that he lives in the neighborhood and bikes to church. He was so eager to know about how we do things so he could make sure to be there and to help. After we got done talking he walked down the hall and I heard him stop and compliment one of the teenagers who helps lead worship in kids' church. He was so polite and so eager to connect. I couldn't help but be amazed that this kid had ridden his bike in the rain to go to church and even paid attention to daylight savings so he'd be on time, with no help from a parent. Compare that to the many families who chose not to come to church today because the walk from their door to the car was wet and their schedules were all thrown off with daylight savings...don't get me wrong...I hate losing an hour of sleep...it's down right painful...but I truley hope that I am always eager to be in the house of the Lord like that young man is regardless of my circumstances. There's nothing like coming into the presence of Jesus and sharing that experience with others and this young man really reminded me of that today.
Third-I have been feeling like everything in my life has changed...if I were to look at how I was spending my time a year ago to what my life looks like today...well, it is obvious to me God is taking me to a new place. I am trying not to constantly ask "are we there yet" every five minutes like a child on a road trip...instead trying to see what I am supposed to be learning while I'm sitting in the backseat, not driving, looking out the window with my hand under my chin. But sometimes I can't help myself :-) where are we going Lord? how long must I sit in the backseat? I can hardly remember what it is like to not be the one driving...
Fourthly...this is a super long blog...and I still have like a half hour to kill...
Fifthly-I don't really have anything else to add but fifthly is fun to type...and say...try it...seriously...
ps...or sixth...whatever...I posted a video today...it's really hurky jerky but kind of fun...check it out...

Saturday, April 01, 2006

it's just so not the same..

when I was a kid someone would say "look it's snowing!" and everyone would run to the window to see if it was and someone would yell "april fools" and everyone thought it was so funny...it's just not the same as an adult...

Last year (or maybe the year before...can't remember) I told the girls I work with at lunch that I was moving and had taken a job at another church...a couple of the girls were in on it and played along...like 2 minutes into the joke one of the girls started crying (dang!) and we of course immediately fessed up to our April Fools joke...she was so mad at me I had to look over my shoulder for months after because she kept threatening to get me back...so not the same.

Then there was the year in college where I went up to my floor after a class and these girls were standing in the hall eating cookies, they offered me one...they looked like generic Oreo's...yeah...so not Oreo's...they were dog treats...awfully hard to get out of your teeth in case you wondered...so not the same.

I was thinking of calling my friend Twon and telling him I've dented his car somehow today (I'm driving it while he's in sunny Cal) and maybe I still will...hmmmm....I'm not feeling particuarly devious today though so I probably won't :-)
sigh...it's just so not the same!

Followers

So Much to Love

I love people. I love bright eyes. I love my sons, Judah & Lucas. I love laughing. I love my ringtone. I love love. I love Jesus. I love tattoos. I love milk. I love creative expression. I love smiles. I love Philippians. I love bridges. I love my house and haven. I love a rainy night. I love doing nothing. I love almonds and banana chips. I love music. I love cowboy hats. I love Anna Maria Island. I love (diet) dr.pepper. I love a good story. I love wildflowers. I love to fly. I love rod iron. I love babies. I love going to the movies. I love midnight. I love allegra. I love sunsets. I love long kisses. I love the color red. I love starshollow. I love community. I love doing life with friends. I love witty banter. I love jessilynn.com. I love my family. I love pretty things. I love cruisin' with my girls. I love remembering when. I love authentic individuals. I love hot tamales. I love when kids giggle. I love Lance. I love bonfires. I love finding people I thought I'd lost. I love yard sales. I love tacobell. I love seeing people do good. I love violins and steel guitar. I love driving to the airport. I love seeing people around me succeed at their dreams. I love being included. I love flipflops. I love blogging. I love long talks. I love dreaming.

Always On My Mind

Welcome to my blog.  I am glad you stopped by!  I choose to write my thoughts and share the joys of my life in this forum.  I hope you will read and say hi when you can!  Blessings!
Jamie
Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, and riches take wing. Only one thing endures and that is character. 
~Horace Greeley