Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Monday, June 26, 2006
today I am tired. tonight I will sleep! tomorrow I will attempt to be chipper...yeah...prolly won't happen, at least not before noon :-)
Saturday, June 24, 2006
So on Thursday, one of my first days off (the day after kids camp where I felt like I'd been run over by the camp bus doesn't count!) I am working (yeah working...sheesh) when I got a phone call from someone who wanted to buy my jeep off of carsoup....well it seemed legit and like a good contact so I spent some time cleaning my jeep up and getting ready to show off, they came and loved her but said they would call back later once they heard from the bank...well, no long drawn out story here, I called them and it was a no go...but in the meantime my sister and I had fine tuned the details to what I will refer to as "the plan". "the plan" was my sisters idea originally, she can have all the credit...here is "the plan", very simple, sell my jeep-drive hers. Hers has no payment and she has a car so I may as well use it and save up towards a more reliable vehicle in the future. "the plan" seemed fool proof...well, "the plan" actually requires my getting her jeep from my grandma's farm in WI and her jeep is old old old and hasn't been driven in a year...needs a new battery, air in the tires, a gas cap, a new dipstick, lights in the dash replaced, reverse lights replaced, left blinker fixed...well, you get the picture...but to drive it for free makes it all worth it for a while right? :-) So when this call came with a possible buyer we decided that Jess would drive from WI to pick me up on friday, we'd leave after I got off work, drive to my parents place to spend the night and then the next day go to the farm and see about getting the jeep into a drivable condition...well, "the plan" so far has been more like an adventure. This morning when we spent almost an hour looking for the key to this vehicle that hasn't been driven in a year I really thought I'd come for no reason...but alas, it was in her jacket pocket...yeah...so off we finally went. When we got there, the jeep would only start with a jump and wouldn't re-start if you shut it off...so off to Napa Auto Parts we went...we met a very nice gentleman who sold us the battery and a few other items (did I mention it needed windshield wipers too?) and he was even kind enough to put air in the tires and install the battery for us...I love small town kindness. Off we drove, rattling down the road back to my parents house...by the time the trip ended my teeth were a little loose and so was my brain, a bit of a rough ride but hey, at least it got me there! oh yeah, there was one moment when I wasn't so sure...pulled to a stop off the exit and it wouldn't go into any gear...just that fine loud grinding noise...after I came to a complete stop and had broken into a complete sweat...well, I got it back into gear and things have been fine since...gotta love "the plan"So here is where the story gets icky. As I am getting ready to do one last thing before leaving to head back to MN...my dad fell in the drive way. I was about 10 feet from him and saw him on his way down, hit his head and the bleeding began. Lots of blood...scary lots of blood...I was screaming for my mom who never heard me, trying to help him up while getting covered in blood, when he was up I ran into the house and my mom went screaming out the door to help him...well, long dramatic bloody story is that he ended up with 5 stitches and a clean cat scan...phew...glad that's over! He'll be sore tomorrow but should be fine. Well, this put me here rather late so rather than drive my vehicle (that we pieced together today) back in the dark I decided to figure out how to stay the night and drive back tomorrow. So skipping a Sunday at CVC is never fun in my mind...I hate not being there, even on vacations I hate it, I know if I'm there everything will be fine but am only 1/2 sure it will be when I'm not...but hey, it's God's work not mine so I guess I just have to get over it. Dang my work ethic!
So this is a long blog but I write these more for myself sometimes than anyone else, so don't feel bad if you didn't read the whole thing :-)
I guess I am going to go to bed here soon, probably should play a little on myspace first...sorry if I haven't written or talked to people reading this blog in person lately...I think once I get through July I can reenter my life as a normal semi-sane person, until then...
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
and I had myself a little bonfire last night...it was good...
today is happy, i am happy, hopefully i can contribute some happiness to others...being that i feel like i've been the one sucking it from others lately...it's a new day!
Sunday, June 04, 2006
But today I am writing a semi-more serious kind of a blog...mostly just to say that for some reason I feel like the fog that has been clouding my vision, my life, my thoughts, my heart and my head has been lifting lately. The nature of fog is that it is hard to pin point, you can't contain it or touch it but it's there, keeping you from seeing the view, causing you to be fearful of what's in front of you all the time. I know what causes fog, heat and cold coliding and all that science stuff...but it is still a mystery. I know why my life has seemed cloudy...the exact "hot" and "cold" events that have collided causing me to not be able to think or see clear...
the mystery for me was that no matter what I have tried it just seems to stay there, haunting me...I've been swishing my hands around trying to see better, turning on my brights to try to get a few more inches...but still the fog remained...and honestly even though I know the fog has been lifting lately, I am trying to be optomistic that it's gone for good but I just don't know. But for the moment, I will enjoy having clear vision, I will enjoy the beauty around me, I will travel up the road I can see and take the twists and turns on a dime because I can see them clearly...
I am hoping for that moment when I have cleared the fog completely and I look back over my shoulder, down into the valley where it hangs and can see the beauty it has to offer...I recognize that there is beauty in it, but that hasn't made it any easier to see, if ya know what I mean.
...this picture has been very helpful for me and it may not make a bit of sense to some but here it is anyways.
So Much to Love
I love people. I love bright eyes. I love my sons, Judah & Lucas. I love laughing. I love my ringtone. I love love. I love Jesus. I love tattoos. I love milk. I love creative expression. I love smiles. I love Philippians. I love bridges. I love my house and haven. I love a rainy night. I love doing nothing. I love almonds and banana chips. I love music. I love cowboy hats. I love Anna Maria Island. I love (diet) dr.pepper. I love a good story. I love wildflowers. I love to fly. I love rod iron. I love babies. I love going to the movies. I love midnight. I love allegra. I love sunsets. I love long kisses. I love the color red. I love starshollow. I love community. I love doing life with friends. I love witty banter. I love jessilynn.com. I love my family. I love pretty things. I love cruisin' with my girls. I love remembering when. I love authentic individuals. I love hot tamales. I love when kids giggle. I love Lance. I love bonfires. I love finding people I thought I'd lost. I love yard sales. I love tacobell. I love seeing people do good. I love violins and steel guitar. I love driving to the airport. I love seeing people around me succeed at their dreams. I love being included. I love flipflops. I love blogging. I love long talks. I love dreaming.