mixed emotions

mixed emotions make for a very sick feeling. on the one hand....but then on the other...

So I hide. And escape. And put on a smile. And fake it 'till I make it.

This pertains to so much. Not just the recent.

I find it harder to recover each time. but not impossible.

inside of me is a wanderer. flitting from one thing to another. over and over. always looking for proof that I'm wrong. someone please prove me wrong.

but I know. because it's all i've seen

there have been glimpses of proof but so distant. like a mist.

and yet...