Over the years food has been many things to me. It has been something tied to memories of times with family. It has been something very social. I have had people feed me to show me they love me. I have eaten from boredom. I have eaten (usually chocolate) to satisfy cravings that usually came after something emotional. I have sat back and been pragmatic about food and only eaten food for fuel. I have been a "skinny" eater and only eaten until I was full. I have been a "guilty" eater and eaten every last bite because I'd feel bad if I didn't. I have been creative and crafted recipes to match my mood. I have used food to be adventurous and try something new. And I have found comfort in the things I always enjoy. It's been something I barely found time for when busy with life and having fun, but every bite I grabbed on the run was tasty and the memories were mixed in with the things I was doing. One of my favorite books as a child was about food. ha!
Lately food has become something new to me. It has become discouraging. Never would have thought that was possible. I am praying for the day that food is again fun. I am looking at food currently as a discipline. Eat it cause I need it, even if I don't feel it. Which of course has gotten me stopping and realizing how unique of a relationship I have had with food over the years.
I tried to rise above it today though and had myself a birthday lunch at taco bell...yum. I could only eat a little but it was tasty.
1 comment:
The "eating b/c I have to" stage is tough. I've spent a lot of time there and it often boils down to eating whatever sounds good. Grilled cheese? Taco Bell? Chocolate milkshake? All good if that's all you can eat. Even my dr says eating anything is better than eating nothing.
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