Monday, December 31, 2007
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Lately food has become something new to me. It has become discouraging. Never would have thought that was possible. I am praying for the day that food is again fun. I am looking at food currently as a discipline. Eat it cause I need it, even if I don't feel it. Which of course has gotten me stopping and realizing how unique of a relationship I have had with food over the years.
I tried to rise above it today though and had myself a birthday lunch at taco bell...yum. I could only eat a little but it was tasty.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Lance came to visit again, he had the joy and pleasure of spending an ENTIRE day traveling to see me when it should have take just a couple hours tops, yipee for snow and delays. I waited patiently and he was worth the wait ;)
He's a lot of fun. Fun to talk to, fun to laugh with and fun to just be with doing nothing. We had the chance to celebrate my birthday a bit. I am personally all about low key birthday things so having dinner with him, ending with a delicious little brownie was my idea of a good time. I'm glad I got to celebrate the beginning of a new year with him.
I celebrated a little more tonight with my little Ana. We went to the Walker Art Center for a viewing of some british commercials, random and fun. We always manage to have a good time whatever we are doing.
Tomorrow, the actual "birthday" will be spent working. Which is fine by me, I already had my fun!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
The last couple days have held their own special kind of joy for me. I do like my alone time..I think I have a bit of an introvert in me...I always enjoy my time with people but there's nothing like being quiet. I ventured out for a time with people last night and while I did have a nice time because the people I was with were so sweet, I missed my solitude the whole time. I think my family and a few friends might have been concerned about me being alone on christmas but for me it was a treat.
And Bundle of Joy is still my all time favorite movie. I even found that Eddie Fisher has a CD with some of the tunes on it so I bought it for myself (a birthday/christmas present if you will!) Now if I'd been all busy I might not have discovered this little treasure!
I sure hope every one of you who read this little bloggy blog had delightful times as well for christmas!
Monday, December 24, 2007
The secret lies in an inner glow.
It's lighting a fire inside the heart.
Good will and joy a vital part.
It's higher thought and a greater plan.
It's glorious dream in the soul of man.--Wilfred A. Peterson
Christmas--that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance. It may weave a spell of nostalgia. Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance--a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved.--Augusta E. Rundel
There is a Christmas song upon the air,
There is a joy innate within the heart;
An inner sense of peace, a holy light
Illumines life and sets these days apart.--Edna Greene Hines
I really like Tyra Banks. I like watching her show. I think she's funny. I have even been known to watch Top Model...although it's been a while...
I came home early today for a bit and turned the TV on and once again found that I really like her. No more faking like I'm to cool to be a fan like all the teeny boppers of america....I am uncool and I am okay with that! (mostly)
Sunday, December 23, 2007
This song gets me every time.
I especially love it when Martina sings it but I couldn't find a video so I am settling for Celine ;) as if that's settling! the girls got pipes!
I don't think she sings all the lyrics...but have you ever really read these and thought about them? This is what I believe and why I celebrate!
Oh, holy night, the stars are brightly shining;
It is the night of the dear Savior’s birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope, the weary soul rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees, oh, hear the angel voices!
Oh, night divine, oh, night when Christ was born!
Oh, night divine, oh, night, oh, night divine!
Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming,
Here came the wise men from Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus in lowly manger,
In all our trials born to be our Friend!
He knows our need—to our weakness is no stranger.
Behold your King; before Him lowly bend!
Behold your King; before Him lowly bend!
Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His Gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother,
And in His Name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy Name!
Christ is the Lord! Oh, praise His name forever!
His pow’r and glory evermore proclaim!
His pow’r and glory evermore proclaim!
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Where your eyes rest matter. Where your thoughts turn to matter. Finding beauty in muck matters. So easy to get preoccupied with working your way through the muck and missing the beauty that is all around if you'd only lift up your eyes.
Lift up your eyes on high, and behold who hath created these things, that bringeth out their host by number: he calleth them all by names by the greatness of his might, for that he is strong in power; not one faileth.
that's some old school KJV. a little thee thou to get you going ;)
It's nice to have them here.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
I suppose it's okay that not everyone likes me. Takes all kinds to make the world go round. But I don't like it.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Sometimes honesty is forced on us, other times we find it within. Either way facing truths and making peace is a must for moving forward. Hearts change, behaviors change, motives change. Out of truth our thoughts are born and crafted. Sometimes what was true is no longer true because things have changed. Saying good bye to old truths can be hard. There is comfort in what is familiar even if it's something you didn't like.
Sometimes I think the biggest thing to be afraid of is comfort. Making mistakes and blazing a trail the wrong direction seems better to me than thinking you have it all figured out. At least when you are out making mistakes you can attempt to make peace and move in a new direction. You have the opportunity to grow in character. To climb mountains and have bumps, bruises, calluses and blisters to show for it when you reach the summits and can look behind you and see where you came from and how beautiful it is where you now stand.
Imagine living your whole life believing one thing only to come to the end and find out it was all a lie. Thank heaven for truth in the journey. Even if it feels like surgery at times.
Here in the stillness
where thoughts are born
here in our frailty we're tattered and torn
here in confession
here in our mess
here in the place where we're mostly undressed - mostly
oh honesty, oh honestly, the truth be told for the saving of our soul
here in the corner
where we craft our pain
here in the open we're laying our blame
here in the hallway
here behind doors
here in the places we wage our private wars
oh honesty, oh honestly, the truth be told for the saving of our soul
Only the truth and truthfulness can save us now/ only the truth and truthfulness can save us
Only the truth and truthfulness can save us now/ only the truth and truthfulness can save us
can save us now
Monday, December 17, 2007
apparently when I first woke up I told my nurse all about a dream I'd had the night before. The ghost busters were involved so you can imagine how odd the looks were she gave me at this point.
apparently I stopped breathing. alarms went off and when the nurse came in and got me to sit up and breathe I told her that I must have just forgot but I'd be fine.
apparently they gave me some juice to get my blood sugar up and I couldn't find the straw cause I only had one eye open. lol. that one cracks me up cause sometimes in the morning I have the same problem...I can only get one eye open to begin with...quirk number 2321.
apparently I called my mom when we were in the car. Don't remember that conversation at all. There were several other conversations I had as well on the phone...I can think of a few people I talked to but not what was talked about. Not the best feeling...hope I didn't get to sappy or dorky...I have those tendencies...sometimes filters are a good thing.
what a day.
Suzie took good care of me at the doc. I got a case of the giggles at something the doctor said and the nurse told me that I was the best thing that had happened around there lately...suzie told me later ( I don't remember this) that when I signed the discharge papers I added a little heart after my name and told her it was cause they were so nice to me. Which they were. Glad I could put a smile on someone's face with my random behavior. lol.
So now I'm home and Suzie has left and Ana is laying next to me on the bed and we are talking talking talking. We will probably watch a movie and I will probably fall asleep. good times.
Thanks to everyone who prayed for me!
Sunday, December 16, 2007
in other news...slept on a friends couch the other night and someone pulled the fire alarm in the apt complex...middle of the night...we bundled everyone up including babykins and headed to the car to stay warm...only, it wasn't there...apparently they tow cars with expired tabs...turns out she had the tabs but the cold wouldn't allow them to stick so she had them in her glove compartment...but mercy is not one of the languages spoken from towing companies. anyhow, that was a strange and rude awakening.
if you read this and happen to pray, feel free to mention me to the big guy tomorrow...mostly that some answers will come my way in regards to my health. and that I won't do anything to stupid when I'm under the anesthesia's power! I so shouldn't have laughed at Ana so much...you reap what you sow people! lessons in humility.
over and out.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
I am not sure what is funnier...the movie or seeing people who you spend so much time being serious with laughing their little heads off. It's a toss up.
I am looking forward to the next couple days in a way that I have no words for. I may figure some out as I go along but for now that's all I can say. Christmas is magical for so many reasons, add in some fun memories and spending time with people you love and somehow the freezing cold weather holds warmth that can only be felt in the heart.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Does sleeping in, watching Days of our Lives and Martha Stuart count as getting some things done?
I also made a list of all the things I want to get done...and then rewrote it so it looked nicer. That counts too right?
I'm considering leaving my house at some point today...but I may not...wouldn't want to over do things.
Then again, a trip to walgreens and dots sounds kind of enjoyable...but that's awfully ambitious all things considered.
I did take a trip down memory lane...that counts for something ;)
you know what? I don't care if today is wasted away doing nothing. it feels good. and knowing myself I'll get something done even if it could have taken me an hour and ends up lasting all night, I can't ever really do nothing...but so far today I am doing a pretty good job of it!
including writing a long, meaningless blog! lucky you!
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
1. Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 random and or weird things about yourself.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
4. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
I have been tagged by Mrs. B over at The Starcrossed Blogger
I am going to tell 7 christmas memories instead...it's my blog so I can change the rules all I want! watch me now!
1. I remember digging through my moms closet with my sister looking for presents...we were probably 5 or 6 yrs old...and boy did we get in trouble when she found us looking! phew! that was a christmas to remember!
2. I spent one christmas in prison. Really. Went with my best friend and her family to visit her step dad. He asked one of the prison guards if it would be okay for him to give me a gift and I left that day with a very fun Teddy Ruxpin. I have a polaroid somewhere from that day and boy did I have 80's hair...and I was wearing a turtle neck. I was so cool. That was a christmas to remember!
3. Part of our family tradition was to attend a candle light service on christmas eve. At my parents church in WI my mom would also do some sort of a reading each year (she's so dramatic and fun). A few years back she got crazy sick and we decided to not leave her home alone but to all just stay with her instead. And rather than go to church we headed to the local liquor store and everyone got something they liked. Talk about a mellow christmas. We were all in bed by 9. That was a christmas to remember!
4. When we first moved to WA when I was in 3rd grade my dad lost his job. We had a rough year for a lot of reasons and somehow our church decided to adopt us for christmas. I still remember the pick up truck that came loaded up with gifts and food. It was overwhelming. Our house could barely fit everything we were given. Maybe it's my childlike memory of the occasion but it seemed like the gifts never ended. That same year my parents found a friend to dress up like santa and bring us all the presents they had bought us. I got the most lovely porcelain doll. which I recently sold in a yard sale cause she was missing a leg..lol...people buy the strangest things! anyhow, that was a christmas to remember!
5. My parents were separated for two years when I was in Jr. High. I remember going over to my dad's house and how hard he'd tried to decorate for us kids. He had bought this big white christmas tree that he couldn't get to stand up so he'd tied it to a hook in the ceiling. So pitiful. But sweet. That was a christmas to remember!
6. Last year was the first christmas I spent apart from my family. I was blessed to be included in a couple of my friends christmas celebrations. Including a complete and delicious Lebanese meal at one house and a very traditional turkey dinner at another. If I couldn't be with family I was with the next best thing, friends who love me. That was a christmas to remember!
7. I remember sneaking down the night before christmas eve eve (follow that?) with my sister (again) and opening our gifts and re wrapping them...we sooooo wanted to know if we were getting the latest New Kids on the Block cassette tapes. We were. hmm...it occurs to me that my mom might not know we did that...guess I just outted myself...sorry sis...if I'm going down you're coming with me! and yes, that was also a christmas to remember!
How about instead of tagging people, if you read this and you have a fun/boring/interesting/whatever christmas memory, feel free to leave a comment and share!
Monday, December 10, 2007
didn't think she'd really take me up on it...but she did...
i have some things coming my way in the near future that I won't be blogging about because I will be rocking in a corner somewhere...
heck, I think I'll go rock in a corner right now in anticipation...
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Here's the link to an article about it.
I arrived at the hotel to meet him and headed up to his room, I knocked on the door, no response. I knocked louder...odd since I'd just talked to him and he said he was in his room waiting for me. Finally I called him again...he said he was standing outside his room...pretty sure I was in the wrong hotel at that moment in time. I skidaddled out real fast and figured out I was in the Hampton Inn, not the Camwhatever suite's (I forget the name)...so glad no one was in the room I was attempting to get into! yikes! who does that?! me. I know. point, laugh, I can take it.
When we finally met up we headed down town for our adventures in freezing. His mom was along too and she was such a good sport taking pics for us and listening to us jabbber on about old times.
We froze our legs, hands, faces and toes off watching the pretty Holidazzle Parade lights pass us by. I seriously lost all feeling in my fingers and my thighs...that is a strange feeling folks, let me tell you. dang. but the lights were pretty and the music was fun and we did a little dancin' to stay warm so there ya go! Another friend of ours joined us too, I hadn't seem him in ages so it was nice to catch up on his life and times too.
After the parade we joined the massive crowds and headed to the 8th floor of Macy's for the holiday display. It was the Nutcracker this time around. We stood in line far to long. We did a dramatic reading of the program, made faces at the security camera's, discussed world peace, solved everyone's problems, ran out of things to talk about, laughed at nothing (did I mention we stood in line for way to long?) And eventually were rewarded with a nice stroll through a make believe world. It was pretty and worth the wait (I say that but I don't mean it).
The highlight? after we made it through the display we discovered that we could get our picture taken with Santa. So we did. Sat right on his knee and smiled pretty for the camera. He asked me what I wanted for christmas...I have an answer but I decided to keep it to myself ;)
After all that we headed to the down town Target to see the escalator. I know. big woop right? yes! big woop! it's a two floor Target and there is a human escalator and a cart escalator...worth the time folks, trust me! unless you get bored easily in which case you might want to do something more interesting...but I am easily entertained and so is donnie! lol
We dropped his ma off at the hotel and the 3 of us headed out to find somewhere nice to sit and talk and eat and laugh.
oh what a night.
There's just something special about being with people who knew me when I had glasses and big hair. Let's just hope it's not another 7 or 8 yrs before I see these guys again!
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Hope has a way of turning it's face to you
just when you least expect it
you walk in a room
you look out a window
and something there leaves you breathless
you say to yourself
it's been a while since I felt this
but it feels like it might be hope
Friday, December 07, 2007
I barely got her back to her apt building and up the stairs...half way up she decided she couldn't walk any more. Somehow I managed to get her up the last few steps and into her apt and on the couch. Which is when she started crying. For no reason. And then started asking for her niece Tobi (pictured yesterday on my little bloggie blog). The conversation went something like this...
Ana: where's tobi? (sob)
Jamie: she's at daycare
Ana: but I want her
Jamie: well your mom can go get her okay? (totally lying)
Ana: can't you just go get her right now? (sob sob sob)
Jamie: no, your mom will get her. (lying through my teeth)
Ana: but I want her so bad, it's her birthday. (sob sob sob sob sob)
Jamie: I know, she's so sweet.
Ana: Do you love her? (deep sobs and crocodile tears)
Jamie: I love her to pieces
Ana: I just love kissing her. (sobs continue)
Jamie: me too.
Ana: Have you met my cat? this is cloe.
Jamie: nice to meet you (laughing uncontrollably)
Of course Ana doesn't remember saying any of that but she does remember me laughing. Figures.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Pile-up Pizza Rolls
First Down Dog
Sac & Cheese
Coin Toss Chips
Fumble Fruit Snacks
Now I don't normally bore everyone with these sorts of things but I thought this was funny. We were wracking our brains for what we could call the milk. Finding a word in football that starts with m...a lot harder than you'd think...well...we actually came up with the perfect name but since it's a kids event at a church we can't use it. It's a beer spoof. We can't use it officially but unofficially we had some fun today...what do you think? like it?
It's only been winter for like a week. I'm done. NEXT! spring! moving on now! and more snow is on the way.
at least it's pretty.
and here's a bonus pic...miss cutie baby who's turning 1 tomorrow...isn't she pretty?
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
who reads this silly blog anyways?
I am cold all the time. very very cold. probably because it's 19 degrees outside and the snow is never ending...
I know Elaine reads...and to answer your question (sorry I'm so slow)...it's Dove deep moisture. And I also have been using the Dove gentle exfoliating facial cleanser...
whatever, it works. winter is harsh on the skin and I found something that works. so I over share!
I'm nice like that.
I'm also tired.
very very tired.
I don't know what to think.
I don't have the energy to even really try to figure it out.
I guess that's that!
Monday, December 03, 2007
this morning I cried as I talked about my worries.
this afternoon I was wishing I could fit into a carry on. Heck, I even tried!
tonight I stare at my computer screen and try to think of something to say. I have nothing. even now.
it's all connected. memories tied together by time and circumstances.
what will tomorrow hold I wonder?
Saturday, December 01, 2007
I went to hong kong today...and actually tomorrow too already. That whole time change thing puts me there tomorrow around 11 in the morning....which technically already happened...I'm a time traveler people! keep up! I even took a picture of flat jamie with burke overlooking the harbor and the mt's. of hong kong. i'll post it in this blog...proof! When you look at it...you will experience something not a lot of people get...a glimpse into the future!
I also went to st. louis and got to spend some time with my nephew and niece. They clapped for me after I sang the itsy bitsy spider and did the hand motions. I'm practically a rock star. I also distracted their mom so much with all my stories that she was horrified to find the two little darlings had pulled eggs out of the fridge and broke them like humpty dumpty all over the carpet in the living room. I'm such a naughty aunty...I couldn't stop laughing. Miss Evie was so cute sticking her finger in the mess, poking at it like it was some kind of mystery to be solved.
Now that there is something like 12" of snow on the ground the only way I'm getting anywhere interesting is as flat jamie. Winter has come in with fury. She will not be denied! Hong Kong looked so warm. So did St. Louis. Oh well, it's warm in my house too. And it will be even warmer once I pull out my electric blanket!
(Im really really tiny and flat in the bottom corner...isn't burke cute?)
* Stanley Lambchop is flattened when a bulletin board falls on him. He survives and makes the best of his altered state, and soon he is sliding into rooms through the opening at the bottom of closed doors and being kind to his younger brother by playing as a kite for him. Stanley even helps catch some art museum sneak thieves by posing as a painting on the wall! But one special advantage is that Flat Stanley can now visit his friends by being mailed in an envelope.
So Much to Love
I love people. I love bright eyes. I love my sons, Judah & Lucas. I love laughing. I love my ringtone. I love love. I love Jesus. I love tattoos. I love milk. I love creative expression. I love smiles. I love Philippians. I love bridges. I love my house and haven. I love a rainy night. I love doing nothing. I love almonds and banana chips. I love music. I love cowboy hats. I love Anna Maria Island. I love (diet) dr.pepper. I love a good story. I love wildflowers. I love to fly. I love rod iron. I love babies. I love going to the movies. I love midnight. I love allegra. I love sunsets. I love long kisses. I love the color red. I love starshollow. I love community. I love doing life with friends. I love witty banter. I love jessilynn.com. I love my family. I love pretty things. I love cruisin' with my girls. I love remembering when. I love authentic individuals. I love hot tamales. I love when kids giggle. I love Lance. I love bonfires. I love finding people I thought I'd lost. I love yard sales. I love tacobell. I love seeing people do good. I love violins and steel guitar. I love driving to the airport. I love seeing people around me succeed at their dreams. I love being included. I love flipflops. I love blogging. I love long talks. I love dreaming.