Saturday, May 17, 2008
ramblings of a tired woman in love
for some reason this past week being in Nashville, kept making me think about how close I came to not having Lance in my life. how if I hadn't picked up the phone and called him one more time he might be unhappy somewhere with out me and I'd be here feeling empty still.
but I did call and he came and kept coming and now here we are. less than two weeks away from being married.
I recognize that this is the man God has been preparing me for and has been preparing for me. I see the broken roads we both traveled to bring us here. I resist the urge to cry often when I think about how blessed I am and how there's no turning back...how did I live before? how did I breathe? I'm not sure I did either. Not like I am now.
I finished reading "the bridges of madison county" today and while very romantic and sweet, I found it to be to tragic to bare...unrequited love is a great idea in books and movies but in reality, it's heart breaking. I am so thankful that Lance and I will have more than 4 days together. We will get to share the joys and struggles of living a life, a real life with day to day stuff happening and pulling and with the challenge of being intentional to keep love fresh and vibrant and relevant and tender and strong and selfless. We will become one...like a braid...three strands woven together in a way that can't be pulled apart...lance, jamie and God...
I told Lance this week that I want to soak in and be completely present at every thing that happens over the next couple weeks...from weddings to meals to conversations to hugs to cards to smiles...all the moments that will make up the memories of the beginning of our journey as one. I want to capture it all and put it in a jar so I can take it out every once in a while and let it seep back in and saturate me.
The overwhelming feeling I have is thankfulness, gratitude, being blessed...all mixed into a feeling in my chest that is indescribable but very alive. I don't ever want to take for granted the blessings in my life, I don't ever want to take for granted this man who loves me, I don't ever want to take for granted the little things that make each day unique and precious...
I'm tired tonight. It was exhausting to pack up and leave the place that now holds my heart
So Much to Love
I love people. I love bright eyes. I love my sons, Judah & Lucas. I love laughing. I love my ringtone. I love love. I love Jesus. I love tattoos. I love milk. I love creative expression. I love smiles. I love Philippians. I love bridges. I love my house and haven. I love a rainy night. I love doing nothing. I love almonds and banana chips. I love music. I love cowboy hats. I love Anna Maria Island. I love (diet) dr.pepper. I love a good story. I love wildflowers. I love to fly. I love rod iron. I love babies. I love going to the movies. I love midnight. I love allegra. I love sunsets. I love long kisses. I love the color red. I love starshollow. I love community. I love doing life with friends. I love witty banter. I love jessilynn.com. I love my family. I love pretty things. I love cruisin' with my girls. I love remembering when. I love authentic individuals. I love hot tamales. I love when kids giggle. I love Lance. I love bonfires. I love finding people I thought I'd lost. I love yard sales. I love tacobell. I love seeing people do good. I love violins and steel guitar. I love driving to the airport. I love seeing people around me succeed at their dreams. I love being included. I love flipflops. I love blogging. I love long talks. I love dreaming.