waves

last summer my computer was stolen. i lost all of my pictures and video's. i was able to recover some things, maybe 30%...the rest was history. there was a process of grief over the loss of things I treasured. there was a learning curve of how to better back up things that mattered to me...to not bring my computer outside of my house unless necessary...to just be more careful.

and so. I got good at putting things on snapfish pretty much with in a day of loading things onto my computer. but in true murphey's law fashion, with the business of my last month I got out of the habit. I was going to bring my computer into work yesterday to hook into high speed internet (I had made a couple attempts to load pics from home but the connection kept failing cause it was to slow.) and as my horribly bad luck would have it, the night before my computer went on the fritz.

holding my breath that it was just a glitch.

went to the genius bar and they thought it was prabably an operating systems problem so we got a new system..it didn't help.

and now my poor computer is getting a heart transplant. not sure if anything can be recovered.

I cried.

I sat at the genius bar and I cried.

I felt silly.

But it wasn't just losing all the picture from my wedding showers and the videos and my engagement photo's... that of course was enough to make me cry but it was the familar wave of having gone through this recently that made me cry right there instead of waiting until I got into my car. the grief of losing something I treasured....and re-losing all the things I had recovered...being mad at myself for not doing a better job of getting my pictures onto snapfish in a more timely fashion. Knowing that there will be more waves as I remember more things I lost.

I may have cried in vain. it could all be recovered. I am crossing my fingers. but there are days when you just know things aren't going your way. that's more how this feels. I hope I'm wrong.