Friday, July 25, 2008
I am not immune
Nothing here is familiar. The pictures on the walls, the street names, the babies, the people, the restaurants, the Targets. Nothing. It is like being in a foreign country. New language, new streets, new new new.
I can't wait for the day when something feels comfortable. Like it's mine.
I've done this before. It's just been a long long time. I have not complained, I have been doing my best to take it all in and not be overwhelmed but today was hard.
My closet is full of clothes that only make sense in MN. I need to pull half of it out, get rid of two thirds of that half and store the third that's left over for the "mild" winters I hear so much about. But that leaves me with very few outfits. I am trying to be creative in the meantime.
I was finally able to pull out my books and put them on a shelf in one of the guest bedrooms. Those books are like friends to me. I spent most of my childhood with my nose buried in a book. Besides the last year and a half where I lost some of my tracking ability because of Mono, I have always had a book nearby. I reread books too. There's something very comforting about the familiar story lines and characters. Maybe that's what I need to do. Read a book with something familiar in it. I'd be less homesick with them as friends.
This week I reconnected with a friend, Katy, who lives here. She will introduce me to people I'm sure. I am becoming friends with our neighbor, Hannah, she even invited me to go with her to look at wedding gowns (she's getting married next year). Things are good in a lot of ways.
I am going to get involved at church. The job search will kick into high gear once we get back from Canada. I know this is just a short season of transition. It just feels long and not as restful as I hoped it would be. But I guess that's life.
I couldn't sleep tonight. So here I sit, in a dark room with the computer staring at me and an urge to write. I'm sure things will look better tomorrow in the light of day. But sometimes i just can't turn my mind off enough to sleep. And on that note I guess I will make another attempt to sleep.
So Much to Love
I love people. I love bright eyes. I love my sons, Judah & Lucas. I love laughing. I love my ringtone. I love love. I love Jesus. I love tattoos. I love milk. I love creative expression. I love smiles. I love Philippians. I love bridges. I love my house and haven. I love a rainy night. I love doing nothing. I love almonds and banana chips. I love music. I love cowboy hats. I love Anna Maria Island. I love (diet) dr.pepper. I love a good story. I love wildflowers. I love to fly. I love rod iron. I love babies. I love going to the movies. I love midnight. I love allegra. I love sunsets. I love long kisses. I love the color red. I love starshollow. I love community. I love doing life with friends. I love witty banter. I love jessilynn.com. I love my family. I love pretty things. I love cruisin' with my girls. I love remembering when. I love authentic individuals. I love hot tamales. I love when kids giggle. I love Lance. I love bonfires. I love finding people I thought I'd lost. I love yard sales. I love tacobell. I love seeing people do good. I love violins and steel guitar. I love driving to the airport. I love seeing people around me succeed at their dreams. I love being included. I love flipflops. I love blogging. I love long talks. I love dreaming.