Wednesday, August 27, 2008

the last time

The last time I truly remember being happy, comfortable and joyful was my wedding day. I was surrounded by family and familiar and I was looking good and feeling good. It's not that I'm unhappy. It's just that there is so much that is unfamiliar and that makes it hard to be comfortable and that makes it hard to be happy. Trying to learn new names, learning new directions, settling into a new house, starting a new job, learning how to adjust to lances friends and family and what they expect of me in their surroundings, being sick recently in unfamiliar surroundings, missing friends, missing family, missing mpls summer activities I did every year, missing knowing where Target is with out having to think, new grocery stores I've never heard of before, oh yes and I have a new name too. So much new to remember and absorb and get right. I have gotten so much wrong. So much.

I made it to and from work today with out using my mapquest directions, well, I did have to check them once on my way home because I had a moment of uncertainty but still. So finally, after being here two months I got one thing kinda right.


Which do you like better? black and white or color?


12 comments:

brandiandboys said...

i vote color because of the red accents. normally i'd choose black and white, but that red got me!

i felt the same way when we moved here 8 years ago. i had been married for five years but had Jett three weeks after i moved to nashville... it was an experience.

it was great to meet you on sunday, if you ever want to grab lunch sometime, let me know.

Anonymous said...

Color!

I can relate. I am going through the same thing.

The one family that we knew before we moved here has decided they don't like us. The reasoning is all so "highschool" to me, so I have decided just to move on. So we have made it a point to get to know new people. We have met some incredible ones. But without my children, I would be very lonely.

But I still use the GPS to and from the airport, I still don't feel safe because I don't know where the "bad" areas of town are, I miss my mother, our church, our friends.

Yes, I can relate. It is going to get better. It is going to be home.

Maylene

Mrs. B. said...

Aw, Jamie...
We need to come for a visit. When you have people you love in your home it makes it feel more like "yours." Strange, but true.
I thought I would like color in the photo but really, the more I look at it I love the b&w. A totally different feel than the rest of the wedding photos.
LOVE YOU!!!

oregoncelticlady said...

Jamie, I love the color, also because of the fabulous red. AND what you are going through is not black and white, right or wrong! Be gentle with yourself! I am sure that you continue to do many, many things right each day with your loving spirit and giving ways.....

Julie

O My Blog! said...

COLOR!! It gives it more life.

I feel for ya, I do. It took me months to get used to CA and just when I got it, we left! HA!

Sending you something familiar btw...
-Julie

Lyndee said...

Color! Your wedding was so beautiful and colorful. I feel joy just looking at the 485 pictures I ordered from the wedding. I don't even need to scrap them just put them in an acid free album and let the smiles and colors speak!
I feel for what you are going thru. I have done similar adjusting with oil-field moves and cross country transfers. Whew! You will get through this with all the changes. Maybe it would help if you thought of yourself in a witness protection deal. Ha!

Jamie Willow said...

Thanks girls. I am okay really. It's just a lot of adjusting to do and I am trying to do it gracefully but not quite succeeding because there are moments I am so overwhelmed.
Plus I was pretty sick for most of august, just got over the cough and when I'm sick I have a hard time being positive.

Anyways, thanks for the votes! I like them both and had fun cropping and playing with it so glad you like as well :)

I really did love my wedding and all that happened around it. So much happiness. Set my own standard pretty high I guess :) I'll get back there too, I know I will, it's just going to take some time.
One good thing is that I haven't had to say anymore good bye's. Just a lot of "what's your name again?" which is good because there are a lot of potential friends on the horizon.

rambling.

stopping now.

[not the] Best Blog Ever said...

Plus, at least this way you get lots of opportunities to say your new name, which is quite fun as a newlywed. :)

Lindsay said...

i also vote color... normally i do like black and white better though. Hang in there, it will feel like home soon! We miss you here in MN!!

Anonymous said...

Black and white. It's more romantic and moody. Hang in there. The bumps will get smoother.
Nina

Dawn M said...

color :)

hope you keep adjusting - did i ever tell you i'm proud of you. Following where you were not familiar, etc.

I can understand the feeling out of sorts - i've been working on my mom's and she is out of sorts, because so much has changed in her house after 40 years of being in one place. Its been hard on her.

I feel for you both.

orangeninjashavemorefun said...

Both of those pictures are equally as charming, they're great.

Chin up sweetie, time will make this all better.

Hugs.

Bekah

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