Tuesday, April 29, 2008


I am nervous about my bridal shower tonight. I don't love being the center of attention. I'm sure it will be fun in the end but I'm going to have to put my game face on to start.

I'll update later and say how it went.

I am blessed that my mom is going to be able to come. Didn't think she could and now she can! It will help to have her by my side.

Sunday, April 27, 2008


The newest addition/edition in the Baumgartner family...I stole him out of his car seat today to kiss on him and smell his baby smell. I returned him to the state I found him in with the addition of screaming and crying :) little guy didn't like being buckled back into his car seat. It's a fun time when they are even cute crying...not sure how long that lasts...a couple weeks maybe? lol


I've watched 6 movies in the last 3 days.

Loved most of them.

Really enjoyed "Martian Child" I recommend it. I don't recommend many movies.

But a true favorite...

There's just something great about watching Bruce Willis fly through the air shooting a gun...I can't explain it.

Friday, April 25, 2008

mm mm good

I just ate two of these. My mouth is happy.


This blog is my way of sharing the good things I have going on in my life for people who are interested in reading about it all and for me to have a spot to always look back at the good things I experience every day. I don't write about everything. This is one glimpse into my world. I particularly try to avoid writing about other people's stories, complicated situations in my own life, bad days, anything that might resemble gossip, and above all I don't want to be a complainer...in my blogs or in real life for that matter.

I was just thinking about this today as I have spent the entire morning on the phone with my sister and then my sister in law. If we only ever read up on eachother our relationships would be so flat...a good phone conversation, time spent together laughing and telling eachother the gory details, being side by side in activity...all of that is just as important for communicating as writing things out. I am blessed to have some really great people in my life who care about it all. They read me, they talk to me, they get me.

oh happy day!

I hope everyone who is reading this has that in their life too...people need people. don't live your life like an island...islands are for vacations or for bringing everyone you love to and staying. alone on an island is bad. very bad. ask tom hanks. lol

okay....gotta go do some more livin' now!

over and out

Thursday, April 24, 2008


yesterday was possibly one of the more enjoyable days I've had in a while. Perhaps it was the sun shining or it was the pace of the day being so laid back. Either way. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Lance and I went and picked out wedding bands. It was fun to walk into the store and have our song start playing on the radio. I always wanted a soundtrack for my life and yesterday for a brief moment it felt like I did.

We also went treasure hunting at this great little antique store called "Hunt and Gather"...one of my all time favorite things to do and I think one of Lance's as well.

It was also a treat to start our marriage counseling. I was looking forward to it and it turned out to be a really nice experience. I figured it would be. We are made for each other. And eating at famous dave's at the same time didn't hurt anything ;)

And introducing Lance to the fun of driving a jeep with the top off...wind through my hair, sun on our necks...just wonderful.

Perhaps my favorite moment though was sitting on a blanket by the lake after dark eating ice cream and listening to the fish have seizures...according to Lance's extensive field training they were actually just jumping out of the water eating bugs...but I am not convinced.

It is so nice to just laugh and enjoy being with someone no matter what we are doing. I have a good friend in Lance and I can't wait to marry him. oh yes.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Twins Territory

So yesterday my church went to the twins game to support our senior pastor as he threw out the first pitch. There were about 550 people from church who bought tickets ahead of time plus others. It was pretty fun.
I got a free hat that fits my big ol' head with my crazy wild messy mop of hair...a rare find my friends.
Ate some cotton candy and had an ice cream cone..I really needed the sugar (ha)!
Got our picture taken (ana and me) by the twins photographer (he said the picture would have been cuter if I weren't wearing a ring! lol). Made the people in our row get up a ton of times so we could wander, get more food, use the potty and such. We did the wave a few times...always a fun phenomenon. Decided who we would kiss if the kiss cam came our way...it didn't. Sad for Ana! lol

A very fun day!

Friday, April 18, 2008


I believe in prayer. I believe God answers prayer. And sometimes I even remember to pray about stuff! I am always amazed that it takes me a while to remember to pray about certain things...I know my nature is to worry first pray later...I want to change that about myself but I think it will take a lifetime.

Again today I was worrying. I was worry worry worry worrying...the kind where your mind circles and circles and leaves you spinning on the inside. And I finally remembered to pray...so I did...it wasn't eloquent. It sounded a lot like my worrying only now I was involving God. And then the phone rang. I let it go to voicemail cause I was praying...and then I decided to take a small nap...to rest my mind. Woke up and checked my voicemail and I don't know for sure but my prayer may have been answered. I will know tomorrow. Either way...I know that I can trust God.

I am just so reminded of how much prayer matters.

Philippians 4 near the beginning of the chapter
(that would be in the Bible if you aren't a Bible person) talks about praying and about the peace God brings that goes beyond understanding when we take our "stuff" to Him.

Check it out if you want.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

found something true

My love lance made a really great video of us today...check it out...

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


Dementia. Not sure what it exactly means or what it means for my dad specifically. I guess I have some researching to do. Knowledge does help erase fears...
Reality is though...he's not himself...but he's still my dad.

spring finally!

It might be a Jeep thing but...today I knew it was spring. I'd say how I knew but I'm not going to. If you drive a jeep you don't need me to.

"I might let you drive it but don't ever forget it's mine..."

Tuesday, April 15, 2008


So I had the pleasure of being treated to lunch today at a darling bakery called "Yum!" and it was!

We were chatting and planning and arranging and enjoying when Lisa noticed that Sven the weather guy was there! Well, her and I proceeded to attempt to fake taking pictures of each other in attempts of catching him in the background with our cell phones...Dawn was horrified and almost bolted and hid under the table to escape our star struck antics. This was the best shot...partly cause he's in it (the back of his head anyways) and mostly because I love lisa's face...lol

And you know what? Sven is short. Super short. He was getting a pop and I went to get a refill and stood right next to him and I could have squashed him with a mere step to my left. Not that I would have because he's a nice weather man and I don't like to squash nice little people...but I could have!

Well...we didn't actually approach him and I'm sure we were only as annoying as a chirping bird outside a window of a busy home where no one's paying attention but it was still a fun little addition to our lunch.

The reason we picked "Yum" in the first place was because of their cupcake desserts and we shared one that was absolutely delicious and I have the pics to prove it!

Sunday, April 13, 2008


I parked in my alley last night for the first time since last fall. And the dumb thing was broken into. At least this time I had it unlocked so they just opened it up, pulled my winter gloves and a roll of tape out and found nothing of interest and moved on. I am annoyed I can't park in the back of my house but I guess I can't.

And I am dying to try Wen on my hair. Little House on the prairie girl has infomercial-ed me to the point of wanting to spend money on a new hair product...but I don't have the money to "experiment" so I will change the channel and continue to use Dove products! lol

Saturday, April 12, 2008

speak to me

"You go before me, you shield my way..."

Some days I feel so human. So incredibly human. I can feel my need for grace on the inside. My heart, my thoughts, my desires, my insecurities, my essense. And God always steps in and shows his grace. He is faithful. He speaks and I soak him in to my very spirit.

This song spoke to me the first time I heard it as I was sitting in church next to Lance praying about our future and our path and begging God to go before us. Tonight again it was one of the songs we sang and again it captured my heart and somehow connected me back to peace. Music can be so powerful.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Wedding Fun

Check out our wedding website!


Thursday, April 10, 2008

on the mend

starting to feel better physically.

still overwhelmed by lots else.

I'll live.

I'm gonna get quiet for a while though.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

I want it back

I had so many things this last week I wanted to get done. I needed to get done.


And now...

Deep breath...

I told Robin I was sorry she had to do so much to help me out the last couple days and she said "what are friends for?" like a good friend would say...I pointed out that I have been a rather needy friend lately and she just laughed.

But I do feel needy.

And I don't like it. It's not just the being sick thing. It's everything. With everyone. I feel like I'm not enough. or that I'm to much. it's a toss up at times.

I think I need to get back to the basics. Rest. Purpose. Joy. Security.

but how?

what am I doing?

Maybe I'll be able to answer those questions in a couple days when I feel better.

ugh. I feel sick.

I lost all the weight I had so happily gained back. I'm skin and bones again. blah. figures.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Mustang Sally

Went to dinner with my good friend, Mustang Sally. My first venture back out into the wide world. It was fun but it wore me out.


Technically her name is Amy, the Mustang was a rental and she was off to jolly old england tonight after dinner. But who is getting technical?!

It was a fun time to catch up with a dear friend.

Sunday, April 06, 2008


I imagine the haze of over the counter medicine and high fevers will lift soon and I may have something interesting to write about. until then...

I got nothin'.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

who knew?

who knew what 4 in the morning could hold...besides my bucket. I just got to talk to my friend Kristen who is in Belfast (on skype) and I got to hear some Irish man getting thousands of kids rowdy...his name is dougy dug dug...hehe. He had a great accent though. It is the kids part of the Franklin Graham Festival...veggie tales galore and lots of energy.
She has a pretty cool job traveling the world. I live vicariously. I know it's more work than glamour but seriously it's still cool to get to go all over the world. And for just a moment I was there! pretty sweet. and now I must take myself back to dreamland.

nighty night.

what a wonderful world

These two ladies are friends of mine. I posted about them a while back. Shelley has been at mayo for 6 mo now looking for a diagnoses. They may finally have it. Praise God. Anyhow, while she has been there a good friend of hers has stayed by her side the whole time. They started dancing in the lobby to the piano music one day and now they are a regular gig there. People love to see their joy and freedom of expression. There is innocence in their faces. I imagine for some people seeing genuine innocence isn't something that happens often.
Anyhow...Mary, the one pushing the wheel chair is going to be my wedding photographer. And Shells is going to be her assistant. I am excited that these ladies get to participate in lance and my special day.

Check out this video.

Friday, April 04, 2008

my angel in pink

So I got home last night and boy was it nice to sleep in my own bed. Of course it wasn't the greatest night of my life but at least I was in familiar surroundings. I woke up at 7 this morning and called my angel in pink...she brought me some groceries and some medicine and she was wearing the most divine pink spring jacket. I have dubbed her my angel in pink but you can all call her Beth.
In other great interesting out of this world news...
I took pseudoephedrine today. I usually try not to take it if at all possible because it makes me loopy. At least I wasn't around people today so it was fine. I just had this very peaceful feeling and slept forever...I'm sure my brother Ira could tell you all about how it can alter my personality. There was this one day I took it and there was yelling, laughing, crying and a few strange combo's of the three every time I talked to him on the phone that we still talk about once in a while.

okay...I've been awake for almost two hours...i think I may need to go back to sleep now....wouldn't want to over do.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

going home

I'm going home. I'm so happy.

I got a later check out from my room at 1:00

I will be chilling in the lobby until around 3:00

I will be at the airport here until 5:15

and then I head to Detroit and leave there at 10:30.

Home sweet home at 11:14.

I have to look at today in segments. Get through the first one before I think about the next one...or it would seem a little overwhelming.

wish me luck!

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

a new low

I can't make myself eat another bite of the greasy pasta that so far has been my life line.

I can't get ahold of any one from the conference to get help.

I went down to the front desk to ask if they could possibly help me (I tried calling but no one would answer).

They said they couldn't and I started crying. Which got me a banana and a muffin.

This royally sucks.

If I EVER see someone sick or in need I will do everything in my power to help them. And if they start crying? I will do even more than what they ask.

I can't wait to get home. I may still be all sick and stuff there but at least I'll have my wheels to take my pitiful self to a grocery store if I need things. Instead of relying on people who look at me like I'm nuts when I ask for help.

**the front desk just called me and they are going to get me some medicine and I'll reimburse them. I guess crying did the trick although I am completely mortified thinking about it.


I have the flu. Aching, fever, chills, runny nose, can't breathe, hurt all over flu.

And I am in a hotel room in Little Rock.


I had to cancel my first session I was to teach this morning because I can't quite pull it together. Someone is going to bring me some drugs and water and gatorade soon so maybe if I sleep a little more and take those I can pull it together long enough to do my two afternoon sessions.

The ironic thing about all of this is I told them a month back that I didn't think I should come because of all the health problems I've been dealing with lately and they were so insistent that I come. So here I am. All sick and stuff. I don't regret coming though because it has been very good for me to be here in a lot of ways. I may not be able to do the networking I want and I may have to cancel this first morning session but I am still thinking it has been a worthwhile investment of my time because it has given me some ideas and reinforced some of the things I know I'm good at but have forgotten about.

anyhow...I am going to blow my nose, put my wild hair in a pony tail and run down (more like walk slowly and lean against a wall now and again) and grab some food for breakfast because while I may be sick I still have a huge appetite! Which I am so thankful for because it was not that long ago I couldn't barely eat.

okay..here I go...


So Much to Love

I love people. I love bright eyes. I love my sons, Judah & Lucas. I love laughing. I love my ringtone. I love love. I love Jesus. I love tattoos. I love milk. I love creative expression. I love smiles. I love Philippians. I love bridges. I love my house and haven. I love a rainy night. I love doing nothing. I love almonds and banana chips. I love music. I love cowboy hats. I love Anna Maria Island. I love (diet) dr.pepper. I love a good story. I love wildflowers. I love to fly. I love rod iron. I love babies. I love going to the movies. I love midnight. I love allegra. I love sunsets. I love long kisses. I love the color red. I love starshollow. I love community. I love doing life with friends. I love witty banter. I love jessilynn.com. I love my family. I love pretty things. I love cruisin' with my girls. I love remembering when. I love authentic individuals. I love hot tamales. I love when kids giggle. I love Lance. I love bonfires. I love finding people I thought I'd lost. I love yard sales. I love tacobell. I love seeing people do good. I love violins and steel guitar. I love driving to the airport. I love seeing people around me succeed at their dreams. I love being included. I love flipflops. I love blogging. I love long talks. I love dreaming.

Always On My Mind

Welcome to my blog.  I am glad you stopped by!  I choose to write my thoughts and share the joys of my life in this forum.  I hope you will read and say hi when you can!  Blessings!
Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, and riches take wing. Only one thing endures and that is character. 
~Horace Greeley