holes

I hate being left.

I hated it when K&H moved away and left me.

I hated it when Jessi moved away and left me.

I hated it when I&A moved away and left me.

There was an exodus in my life at one point where it seemed everyone was leaving and the holes were so huge I didn't know how I could possibly fill them.

And now here I am, the one doing the leaving.

I know I have left some holes.

It is a much different experience to be the one doing the leaving. I prefer it even though it is hard in it's own way.

I left once before and didn't look back. It brought me to Mpls actually and that worked out great. I know this leaving will also work out great.

I said good bye to many people today and I said good bye to my city too.

I am ready for what's next!
The long good bye is over...

last full day

Today is my last full day in Minneapolis.  I leave town tomorrow.  In some ways I am thinking "finally!" and in others "already?!"

I know Lance will be glad to not have to come back to Minni to see his wife.

I am glad that my last Sunday is freedom celebration sunday at church.  It is a favorite service of mine.  Very patriotic and special. A perfect ending.

In some ways I am about to experience a bit of freedom.

a pool of good bye tears

I realize I don't actually look sad in these pictures but that is because I was surrounded by some of my dearest friends yesterday. And all of their darling little rugrats! I have been blessed to have a group of friends here who are real, honest, fun and a little crazy at times...I will miss their faces but I will be staying connected to all of them and that is the beauty of friendship...miles do not determine commitment or loyalty.
And what a fun way to celebrate my leaving! Pool time, pizza pop and licorice, late night drive in movie time, screaming at the top of our lungs with the top off of the jeep, snuggling in for movies, shooting stars, moms hopping into pools after bobbing heads alert them to danger (those mama's can move fast!), chasing babies around the pool making sure they don't topple in, watching miss ana attempt to find the perfect way to wear her bandana in the crazy windy jeep ride, smooches with cute kiddo's, hugs from friends who would do anything for you, good bye's that are really "see you later's", mosquito bites and squealing at bugs, dancing on the roof tops, almost driving into fences in the dark, jzuzing pool hair for the perfect pic, izzy refreshment, smiles galore. There was so much about last night that was precious.

We know how to have a pool party!
look at how sad she is I'm leaving?! and her daddy too...awhh...
eyes on the road!

short timer

This made me laugh every time I checked my mail in the last month at work. I guess since they knew I was leaving soon they didn't want to actually make a totally new one...which is fine by me :) This one is way more interesting and eye catching...and PINK! woohoo!

verbal download

I just verbally downloaded my whole job. Everything I have done for the last 8 yrs minus the nuances. I am tired. I can only imagine how the ears of the ones listening feel. My eye is twitching.

I am going to Robin's for a pool party tonight. Talk about just the right timing!

only a little

I drank one of these at dinner. I am finally a little tired and it's like midnight thirty. I jiggled my leg like crazy all night though because I was so caffeinated. I may have to get another in the morning to wake my sorry little self up. Did I mention how delicious it was? It was delicious.

amidst

"how we see ourselves changes how we see the world" -Numb3rs

Every day of my life seems to have a little of everything. Joys, disappointments, good things, bad things, hard things, fun things, positive thoughts, mean thoughts, negative reactions, laughter, smiles, and the list goes on.

It is always a choice.

What do I dwell on. Where do my thoughts land. What do I hold onto. What do I write about. What about each day defines it.

There are really crappy days and there's no getting around that but most of the time...there is something good each day to hold onto.

Tonight I was whisked away for a late night chat and dessert with girlfriends. I was able to tell them about the old biker man at menards who exclaimed "woah, what a babe" when I walked by him causing me to suppress great amounts of laughter. I was able to give last hugs and take some really funny cell phone pics that will someday come back to haunt them ;) hehe. I was able to forget about how much I detest going to home depot. I indulged in a little chocolate and fruit angel food cake thingy and shared the joys of adding angel hair pasta to the jack daniels chicken appetizer. This is where my thoughts are resting tonight as I relive my day.

We had a great conversation about how we are blessed to be able to go through hard times with the peace that comes from knowing you are in God's will even when you are in the midst of it all and trying to figure it out.

I was reminded and shared that every day there is something to dwell on that is positive and good, even if it's simple.

Which leads me to a scripture verse that I think every woman should commit to memory and take to heart.

Philippians 4:8
"whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

It doesn't say that there won't be things that are ignoble, or wrong, or tainted, or ugly, or shameful, etc...it says to think about the other things and dwell on those.

Now that is a challenge if I ever heard one.

Anyone up for the challenge? I am!!!!

go now. watch these shows. or else!

My two new favorite shows.

Wipeout

I survived a japanese game show.

LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!! I belly laugh watching them.

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeheeeee

:)

I blame my friend Heidi

Check out my new social network.

one thing I won't miss

My office with no windows. AKA my cave. Nicely decorated cave but still a cave. Imagine all the daylight I will have in my future! Sometimes change is good.

I am watching Will and Grace as I type this and it's the Cher episode. LOL...totally my favorite one.

bu bu bu bubblin

There is a lot of joy inside of me that is bubbling up thinking of my future with this amazing man I am head over heels for. Heck, forget the future. I love today. The future is bonus.

full circle

Fall of 1995 I was a kid at college in a new town. I wanted to join a church fast, I had grown up in a church I loved and knew I'd never find one even similar so I just opened my heart and mind to where God would lead me in this new place I was going to call home.

I remember trying a couple churches and just decided to commit to one. I went to this small church in st. louis park. I went with a roommate. The first week she got invited home to lunch by a family. They didn't invite me. I took the van back and ate cafeteria lunch. The next week it happened again. And again. I would be standing right by her and she would get invited to lunch and they wouldn't invite me. It was like I was invisible. Well I do not like the feeling of being invisible so I decided to move on.
I had a friend who wanted to be a kids pastor and he convinced me that the church he was going to was a good one, it was a big ol' church. I went with him a couple times and while no one invited me home for lunch, if they invited him they would invite me too. Before long I was volunteering and investing.
In college I was a music major. And I hated it. So much. I love music but I hated everything about being a music major. I knew it wasn't something I could continue with. And in that special way God works He started bringing to mind all the involvement I have had in my life with kids. I weighed it against the kids ministry I was seeing each week...I really didn't know if it was something I wanted to do but there was something about it that compelled me to change my major.

I continued to get rides from my friend for a few years. The year he graduated and left college I got a truck and was able to get myself to church.
I was finally being invited to lunch on my own. I was a part of this community in a way that was healthy. It was while I was at one of those lunches that the kids pastor at the time (Dick Gruber aka PG) asked me if I would consider an internship. I knew it was the right thing to do so it didn't take much thought or prayer.
That summer was pivotal. My first day was actually Lisa Groves last day, we went to Fudruckers for lunch and that was the official start to my journey of working at CVC.
Well as fate (aka God) would have it, PG was gone the entire summer. My big dreams of learning from one of the best kids pastors in the nation were not going how I planned. Instead I was the right hand of the person who did early childhood (Ruthanne). Through that internship and through the next year of college I discovered my love for early childhood ministry.
I prayed that God would give me a job just like Ruthanne's. I really didn't mean literally her job but apparently that is what God had in store for me.
The last 8 yrs I have worked and poured my heart out into this church and community. I have felt at peace and at home the entire time I have been here.
Last week I spent my favorite week of the year at Kids Camp. My friend who drove me to church for 3 yrs was the camp speaker. He's married and has a daughter and now he's working on the national level for kids ministries. We had a lot of laughs over time spent together way back when. It did not escape me that there was an aspect of things coming full circle with this reunion of sorts.
I think I forgot to say in my earlier blog...my good bye lunch was also at Fudruckers. My first and last meal :) Again an aspect of full circle.
It might seem a little strange but I do feel like there have been some nice bows tied here at the end of my journey at CVC. It is a good thing.

And apparently I needed to tell my story again. For me. Take what you need from it but this one was for me.

smiling and looking ahead

a little bridge magic

happysad

Today was my going away lunch for work. It was emotional for me. I have loved my job here, my life here. I knew it would be a hard one for me. But I am pretty certain that even the hardest things I will face won't be that bad with Lance beside me. Today he was my rock. He not only sat beside me and held my hand but he blessed me with his words and with a gift. It was a beautiful picture of he and I sitting and looking out at the magical bridge I blogged about a while back in a frame that read "All because two people fell in love".
It's hanging on one of the empty nails in my empty house making my world a little brighter this week. I have more good bye's to say and I have a feeling that picture will be in the back of my mind for all of them.

It is a strange thing to be this happysad. It's a new emotion no one warned me about before. Happysad. So happy I can hardly stand it at times and sad sad sad. I guess in an odd way they compliment eachother. The happy is happier and the sad is real but tainted with happiness. Happysad.

All I could think about earlier was that quote from French Kiss "Happy, smile. Sad, frown. Use the corresponding face with the corresponding emotion." It doesn't exactly fit the situation if you know the context but it's still appropriate in it's own special way.

Anyhow. I feel blessed to have such a giving and loving husband by my side at this time of change in my life and I feel blessed that these steps are being taken to merge our lives together. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Cliff Jumping

I don't do crazy stuff. I've never jumped off a cliff, I don't sky dive, I'll never bungee jump, I don't order new items off the menu unless the item I've ordered the last 39 times is discontinued...you get the idea.

I have had some sort of a job as long as I can remember. Maybe my mom can remember for me? paper routes, babysitting jobs, cleaning houses, whatever. I have always had a job. The only exception was a summer in college where I lived in Maryland and didn't work. 2 1/2 months of my life I didn't have a job.

A job is responsibility. It is a place to practice good work ethic. It is something to invest in. It provides a paycheck which allows independance. It is fun to be with people working together towards a common goal. There are so many good things about working. I figured the only time in my life I wouldn't work would be when I was having kids...and even then I figured I'd need to do something to generate an income of some sorts.

And now here I am about to quit my job. No big thing if I perhaps had another one lined up...in the past I would have probably worked two jobs at the same time for a while in the overlap...not gone with out a job in the meantime. But that's what I'm about to do.

It feels like cliff jumping.

I know it's what I'm supposed to do for now. I know that Lance and I are in agreement that for the near future I will figure out the next step and not have to already know and be there doing "it" whatever "it" is.

Part of it is the worry about not contributing financially. Part of it is worrying that I will become a boring person with nothing to talk about. Part of it is worrying that I'll like it a little to much. Part of it is worrying that by getting out of the loop I won't be able to get back in.

I can only imagine (I will never have proof) that standing on the top of a cliff and jumping one might also be spending their time worrying a little...at least the first time they jump. But if a person seriously wanted to jump off the cliff the worries wouldn't stop them. Just maybe cause them to double check their parachute or take a deeper breathe or whatever else you'd do before jumping off a cliff. (I hope to never find out)

So that is what I am doing. Deep breathes. Trusting Lance that it really will be okay. Checking my parachute.

My devotional today spoke directly to this. Here is a snippit:

"So, after they had fasted and prayed, they placed their hands on them and sent them off" (Acts 13:2).

There are times in our lives when major decisions require a concerted effort to press into the heart of God. In Acts, chapter 13 we find a situation in which the disciples were worshiping during a time of fasting. During this time God spoke to them with some specific instructions. It was a strategic time in the church in which Barnabas and Saul were being set apart for the work God had called them. Fasting was an important aspect of hearing from God.



I have some praying and fasting to do about my future...the time I am not working I will be seeking God's direction for my life...more specifically my work life.

I guess that's where I'm at today.

Between spending a month at some friends house while I remodeled my bathroom and then this last month and a half after moving all of my belongings to Nashville sleeping and living in basically an empty house...I am excited to get to Nashville.  This has been a good home but it doesn't even resemble one at the moment.  

It will be so nice to have hangers and drawers and chairs and rugs and dishes and a microwave.  And a more diverse wardrobe, some different shoes, jewelry, the option of making mac n' cheese, more than 3 towels, the list could go on and on...did I mention chairs?

I have tried not to complain. Actually I really haven't complained at all. It's silly to do because right now this is my reality and it's not changing so make the most of it right? But now that I can see a light at the end of the tunnel I am releasing the breath I was holding and getting excited for the future.

I thought this only happened to couples who were together for years and years

He was so grouchy this morning.  It was a bit comical from my angle.  I tried not to poke the bear though and when he insisted we needed coffee before we went any further I just smiled and got ready earlier so we'd have time.

When we went to check out and pay; the short, nice, cashier lady didn't even look at us until she was about to give Lance his change.  When she looked up at us she got a big grin on her face, her eyes darted back and forth between our faces and she said "you guys match!"  

*I should point out that unlike other times we were not wearing matching shirts or anything like that, yes we like the matchy matchy people.  

I guess all that matchy matchy has been wearing off on our faces too :)

Needless to say, Lance smiled.  It was as if the sun had broken through the storm clouds.  

little good bye's

Is it weird that I'm more sad to leave my city than my friends? We went to the Omni last night and today we are off to a twins game. I feel like friends could visit in Nashville...but the twins team? probably not.
I have a few places to say good bye to this week. I'll let you know how it goes. So far the Omni and others haven't cried knowing I'm leaving but you just never know...the lakes might shed a tear.

I'm a dork. I know it. You all know it. Moving on now...

I'm home from camp.  I crashed at about 7:00 last night...went to sleep at 8:00.  I didn't think I'd get to see my husband until tomorrow but I woke up to a text saying he'd be here soon.  I am so happy I could cry.  Which probably means I still need more camp recovery sleep :)  

I love kids camp.  My favorite week of the year.  This time around it was a marker for being one of the last things I did before moving to Nashville.  And now it's over.  I am ready to leave.  Well, almost ready.  A few more days in the office, a couple good bye's, cleaning my house and handing it over to renters...and then I'm out the door and on my way.  

fight fight fight!

This is the craziness I willingly participate in. 

ironic

They should seriously take this sign down during kids camp. Seriously. It so does not apply. It's so far from applying that it's almost mean to have to walk by it every day.

send it back to the printers!

They should seriously take this sign down during kids camp.  Seriously.  It so does not apply. It's so far from applying that it's almost mean to have to walk by it every day.

Now if it said:

"Come with me in very very large groups of people to a noisy energetic place to become exhausted and happy in a delirious sort of way..."

It would be perfect.  

energy and joy galore!

It is always fun to see the kids sing and dance and have a good time at chapel.  I tried to capture it on video a little bit...there really is no capturing 780 kids having a blast but it's at least a glimpse of the good times :)  

The Pied Piper of Lake Geneva

Can you see the similarities in these pictures?  Lisa Groves is working her magic on these kids after a very long bus ride...

And she brought me a starbucks mocha frappuccino which I am saving for Wednesday.  I'd follow her anywhere too :)

Camp Lord of the Flies

Seven hundred fifty plus kids. A couple hundred plus workers.  One week of camp.  Little ol' me coordinating swim time.  Seven hundred fifty plus kids dying to swim in a lake.  Little ol' me in their way.  The only thing in their way.  

I could die this week.  

If the kids decide to take over there really would be no stopping them.  

That goes for the lunch lines, the swim time, bathrooms, chapel and so much more. 

Let the races begin!

After I get a good nights sleep.

I am happy to share that I have great roomies for the week!  I was worried.  Years past gave me good reason to worry...but alas! They are from church and a hoot.  Kay Zavala and Lana Skahan (probaby messed their names up...sorry girls) We have already laughed bunches.   They run the bank for the week.  I am guessing they have more of a chance of being accosted than I do since they hold the money that the kids need to buy Mt. Dew!

  

Pray for us this week if you think of it!  I will probably blog a little here and there, if you see no blogs from me at all it is probably because I am hiding from children somewhere :-)~

be there with bells on!

I just spent three lovely days with my husband.  Each moment I am with him is blog worthy...there was one particular moment though that stands out in my mind.  

We were at the sculpture gardens and one of the sculptures had a hanging balanced platform that we discovered was a nice resting spot.  I layed on my back and watched the sky.  It was lovely.  The day was lovely, the moment was lovely and before we knew it there were bells chiming...a church near by was marking some sort of a special occasion because it wasn't just a little bell chiming, it went on for a good 15 minutes, maybe longer.  

All of a sudden a robin swooshed in to where we were and landed on the sculpture above our heads and in a spot I hadn't looked very closely at there was a nest with 4 baby birds.  When mama robin swooped in with a worm they went crazy chirping and sticking their little beeks out.  So sweet.  Not very pretty birds but still amazing.

Eventually we noticed that there were several small crowds of people wanting to experience the sculpture too so we moved on.  But I did snap a couple pictures with my cell phone.  

The first one just shows the top of the sculpture and the beautiful sky.  The second one is of my handsome husband.  

I miss my husband

The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. ~Nicholas Sparks

Happy 5 yr anniversary!

My brother married an amazing woman 5 yrs ago. She is a dear friend, a great wife, a fun and loving mom and an all around fabulous person. (I like my brother too)

Anyhow, one of the first times I ever decided to write something out and share it with people was about their wedding. It wasn't for a couple more years that I started blogging. I ran across the email I sent today and thought it was perfect timing since I believe it is this week sometime they are celebrating their anniversary. It's long...I was writing it for people who cared about every gory detail. So if you are bored read on! I added a couple pics of their wedding at the end too...so sweet :)

...so for all who are curious about how my brothers wedding went, here is the story.... it's a long one! pictures are at the end if you want to skip ahead:)

Tuesday night, myself, my sister-Jessi and Ira (the groom) all left Minneapolis heading to my parents house in Wisconsin. My sister and I rode together in her truck(we planned to move a couch back with us after the wedding). And Ira drove his car. The car he and Ashley were supposed to ride off into the sunset in after the wedding. I say "were" because on his way home, Ira ran into a deer! He smashed the drivers side front of the car in...still drivable, but not very pretty and over $1000 worth of damages...he killed the deer...mostly...so he had to call the police for an accident report and they had to make sure the deer was all the way dead. good times. So not a very good start to his wedding week but he was fine and my parents let him borrow one of their pick up trucks to take to the wedding instead. So the next morning (Wednesday) Ira took off to Indiana to be with Ashley. My sister and I spent the day at my parents house, I was really sick almost the whole week of the wedding and all I remember about Wednesday was that my pillow was soft:)
oh yeah, and one other thing about Wednesday. While I was napping the phone rang a ton....but I was napping and it never occurred to me to answer. well, my mom finally came home and answered the phone and it was Ira. He had forgotten Ashley's wedding ring in my house in Minneapolis. He was panicked and desperate to get the ring somehow. Wouldn't you know it though...I hadn't left a spare key with anyone! after all, who would need in my house since everyone was leaving for the wedding? well, after failed attempts to reach my land lord and wanting to avoid driving all the way back to Minneapolis for the ring, one of Ira's friends/groomsmen offered to break into our house and get the ring. Apparently it was really easy....between jessi and I, half the windows were unlocked or open. He got right in, locked up for us and brought the ring to the wedding when he came. Between hitting a deer and forgetting his wedding ring we were getting a little worried that something else would go wrong...jessi kept saying "things always happen in 3's"...what could the third thing be???
Thursday we took off for the wedding. Jessi and I drove one of my parents trucks (the one Ira didn't take) and my mom and dad drove in the wrecked car to my grandma's house about an hour away and then they took my grandma's van for the trip. (my grandma came too:) So the trip to Indiana was supposed to be about 5 hours and wouldn't you know it....traffic!!!! so it actually took about 8 hours...jessi and I didn't have AC so we had the windows rolled down and the music up loud! at one point we decided to get off the highway for gas, we filled up, used the bathrooms, wandered around the store...took our time...when we went to get back on the highway....we were literally in the exact same spot...same cars as when we got off the exit twenty minutes before...needless to say, my sisters blood pressure was high since she was the one driving:) we met a lot of nice truck drivers and construction workers though while we were just sitting their.
At another point in the trip when we were at a dead standstill in traffic, jessi and I were both starving and the only food we had was in the back of the truck in Jessi's suitcase...so I attempted to stick my body through the little window in the back of the truck to get to the food....unfortunately I have hips and even though my arms are long, they weren't quite long enough...so we remained hungry and all the people around us in their cars got to see an interesting sight of a hungry, long armed upper body sticking out of a truck in a weird angle....flailing about....good times.
We ended up getting to our hotel at the time we were supposed to be at the rehearsal...and at the rehearsal about an hour after that...but wouldn't you know it??? every one else had also been stuck in traffic...so they decided to cancel the rehearsal and go right to the rehearsal dinner instead. Fine by jessi and I who were still starved:)
The rehearsal dinner was at the Ponderosa...buffet style:) It was really nice and by the end of the night everyone had arrived finally. They spent a little time introducing everyone and then Ira and Ashley thanked everyone for being a part of the wedding. After dinner we all dispersed with directions to arrive the next morning at 10:00 (Ira told the girls 9:30...as if he is ever on time) to hold the rehearsal.

So the morning of the wedding rehearsal came and I arrived a little early because Ashley had asked me a couple days before if I could be the coordinator. I wasn't exactly sure what that meant but it became clear as the day unfolded. But first! Her grandparents house and property were AMAZING. When you drove up their was a very long windy private drive that lead up to the house...you can't see the house from the road...along the drive their were a couple grassy areas, these were the designated parking areas. They had parking attendants that helped people park and then drove them the remaining way up to the wedding on golf carts...through luminary lit pathways...so pretty! once you were delivered up to the house their was a huge yard area with the white tent canopy reception area in the middle...surrounded by trees and beautiful scenery....their were lots of tables set up under the tent as well as a dance floor. Very nice. Just past the tent was where the ceremony took place. They had lots of white chairs set up overlooking a beautiful view of a white gazebo and behind that their was a wooden fence. On the other side of the wooden fence was a rolling beautiful hill...lots of tree's and greenery...nothing but nature! just perfect. What about bugs you ask? well, their were some but they had fogged their property for a couple days ahead of the wedding so that the mosquito's wouldn't be to bad.

So the rehearsal came and I coordinated...well, after I figured out what all of Ashley's notes meant....I had people walking down the aisle at the wrong time at first, but once I made heads of all her instructions things ran smoothly. Their were 7 guys and 8 girls in their wedding party. So what they did was have all the guys go up together...in like two lines, at the same time as the groom and the pastors...so they were in place right away. then they had each bridesmaid walk down on her own and take her place. It was very nice and went smoothly considering their were so many attendants. after the girls were all in place, next came two little girls ringing bells...very cute. after them was the ring bearer...he was so serious! and then after him was the flower girl...then...dumdumdadum (that's email for the wedding march) Ashley's dad walked her down the aisle. Her grandfather started off the wedding, then her dad took over and then Ira's pastor from WI finished off...so three pastors officiated...it was good.

So the rehearsal went well...off everyone went to get ready for the wedding! hair appointments, nail appointments...all that good stuff...I think the guys went swimming...they didn't have as much to do apparently:)

I was at the house when Ashley first arrived in her dress and with her hair done, etc. She looked so pretty! just perfect. And then Ira got their...handsome in a tux! They were doing pics before the wedding so Ashley joined Ira on the front porch of the beautiful house for the first time they would see each other before everything really got going. The photographer ended up getting stuck in traffic but once he arrived, everything flowed just great...probably one of the nicest photographers I've seen at a wedding....did such a great job! he even brought an assistant who was also taking pictures...it went really smooth. I have to add that Ira is probably the only groom I have ever known who wanted more pictures taken...every time the photographer said they were done with some part of the pics he would pose for another...something cheesy...what a dork! I blame it on Jessi who was always making him be her model when she was practicing photography while he was growing up...he loves it though:)

So once all the guests began arriving...driven up on the golf carts, the wedding party headed inside the house. After a while they seated the parents and grandparents and then all the guys went up and took their places...the wedding was about to begin! and the girls were still inside the house...so they made a mad dash up to the tent and started down the aisle. it was so pretty! the sun was setting off to the side...so that just added to how nice everything looked.
As Ashley and her dad started walking down the aisle...the runner kept getting caught on her dad's foot...so since I was standing in the back anyways, telling people when to go down the aisle, I had to grab onto it to keep it from tripping him...only I was in the way of all the photographers of course...so I tried to hide and as soon as he wasn't tripping anymore I got out of the way fast! Apparently during this time, Ira was fighting off tears as his bride was coming towards him...ahh, isn't that sweet? The wedding was great. Ashley surprised Ira by singing him a song..."Fly" by Sara Groves. She was so funny after when she was talking to Ira...she said "if my walking down the aisle didn't make you cry, then I was going to sing to you. If singing didn't make you cry then I was going to punch you..." she cracks me up!
So everything was going along very nicely...when all of a sudden during the exchange of rings...after Ira put Ashley's ring on and Ashley went to get Ira's...wouldn't you know it!!! but Ashley's maid of honor (her sis) didn't have the ring! considering how Ira had forgotten the ring the day before and everything it was quite a comical moment. luckily someone went and got it and they put it on him a little later in the ceremony. It was to funny though that they both had ring problems... I guess that was number 3!!!
Jessi and I sang a song during communion. It was a song jessi had written especially for them. We did a pretty good job considering the next little story I will tell.
So jessi and I knew we were going to be singing together and even though we had checked ahead of time with the DJ and everything, the DJ didn't end up having the right equipment for jessi's guitar and two microphones...so we had to share a microphone...anyone who knows me knows I have space issues...don't get to close! and well, jessi is pretty much the same...so us having to have our heads that close together was a little much. During our sound check...I lost it...I could not stop laughing...she was so darn close and we were practically kissing! then after I would finally get myself together jessi started laughing...needless to say we were a little worried about making it through the wedding with out laughing...but I am happy to report that we both kept our eyes closed and that helped so their were no giggles added into the very nice song jessi wrote.
So the wedding ended...they were man and wife! (and may I add, somehow Ira got to kiss the bride twice...once after the vows and once at the end of the wedding...not sure how that worked! to many pastors involved I think:)
Their had been someone hiding the entire time behind the fence waiting and as each couple left their were fireworks set off...so that was pretty cool.

Ira and Ashley headed inside to take a little break and get ready for the reception. Once all the guests were under the tent they joined the party and greeted people at their tables. Two of the groomsmen and one of the bridesmaids made a toast to get things started and then Ira and Ashley had their first dance...pretty soon, everyone was either dancing or eating...very nice. Eventually they cut the cake and did the chicken dance and threw the bouquet and garter...all that fun stuff...but mostly their was a lot of dancing. During the reception it rained a little bit but not much and it was still a perfect temperature so that was really nice. After the night began to wind down they passed out sparklers to all the guests and after Ira and Ashley got changed they were put on a golf cart and everyone sent them off with sparklers and well wishes....very pretty! I only caught a glimpse though because I was helping Willow (one of Ira's groomsmen) carry all of their luggage down the really long winding path to their truck that was waiting at the other end. It was funny though because I had a couple sparklers and Willow had a lighter so we greeted them by the truck with more fireworks:) then we hugged them and off they rode into the sunset! a beautiful wedding!

So that was the really really really long version of the wedding story. I hope you enjoyed reading this...it has taken me forever to type it:) I am attaching a picture so you can see how pretty Ashley looked and how handsome Ira was...funfun!

crazy dreams

so last nights crazy dream. still so vivid which is rare.

I was in the back seat of a red corvette, convertable. Pastor Tom was driving and Pastor Greg was in the passenger seat. The idea was to drive as fast as you could up this really steep hill off of a cliff over a lake in hopes of reaching the other side where their was a resort and a pool. Apparently in my dream I had done it before and I told Tom to really gun it. Which he did.

Come to think of it, I believe this is just the latest version of my reoccuring dream of flying and not being able to get down...

although I do get down in this dream. but not before Greg and I have a conversation while we are flying around trying to determin how to land and if it's even possible to do so alive. apparently Greg knew the secret to a good landing right into the resorts pool...of course once I got out of the pool I realized I had lost my cell phone and that it probably had water damage even if I could find it.

I had lance try to call it and it kept going straight to voicemail. We decided it had probably flown out of the car and landed in the lake.

and then lance's nephew jacob came and gave me a hug. he's so cute!

it was really quite a crazy and pleasant dream all at once.

oh yes, and there was this whole part where I rescued my computer from the angry waves of the ocean. not sure where that happened or how it fit in but it's very vivid.

any body else have a crazy dream to share? or how about an interpretation?

Bella is beautiful

okay. I just watched Bella and not only was it truly a beautiful movie but the main actor is a man of integrity who stands for something.

I love what he shares in this interview. It is inspiring.

I hope you watch this movie and I hope you watch this interview.

wow.

i don't like

with only 3 weeks left here at work I figured at some point I would start to be excluded from some of the normal things that go on. but 3 weeks is a long time and I was hoping the excluding would start happening more along the 2 or 1 week mark...oh well...life goes on.

on another note...gas is over 4$ a gallon here finally. knew it was coming. but thank the lord above the cheap coffee is still cheap! lol

movie movie

Lance and I saw this last night. It was fun. I enjoyed it. I did not enjoy dreaming about snakes last night though. Pretty sure this movie was to blame. But it was fine cause I woke up next to Lance so bad dreams left me right away. Tonight I'm on my own.

growing, moving, changing

It might seem at first glance that by moving to TN I am leaving so much behind and giving up so much. But I don't look at it like that. I know things will change...but even if I stayed here it would change. That is just the nature of life. What I do know is that my life is going to get bigger. I will have what I have and love and I will get the opportunity to have more.

More friendships, new memories, more stories, a bigger life.

I am excited. I hope people here understand that I will be smiling when I leave...no tears. I reserve the right to shed a few but I just feel so very at peace right now. And I am feeling actual tangible anticipation for what's next and I am just so ready.

I love my husband.

I truly don't care where as long as it's with him.

my heart has wings

I should be working. But I am distracted. So I will post another favorite wedding pic and share with you all the song I have stuck in my head. It's a good one, from the movie Cinderella...so this is love.



So this is love, Mmmmmm
So this is love
So this is what makes life divine
I'm all aglow, Mmmmmm
And now I know
The key to all heaven is mine

My heart has wings, Mmmmmm
And I can fly
I'll touch ev'ry star in the sky
So this is the miracle that I've been dreaming of
Mmmmmm
Mmmmmm
So this is love

I've got my love to keep me warm

If you know me, you know I am always cold. My perfect temp is 74 degrees, or warmer. It is rarely 74 degrees anywhere..people's homes are usually cooler, work is usually cooler, MN is definately cooler than that most of the year...I basically shiver my way through any given day.
One of my favorite things about being with Lance is that I am always warmer. He warms me right up...standing by me, holding my hand, resting his hand on my shoulder or back...yup, way warmer. He has added heat to my life.
We went to the movies last night (the first movie he and I have gone out to) and he simply rested his hand on my knee and it added just enough warmth that I actually didn't shiver my way through a movie for once. (just ask Ana about the last time we went to the movies and I made her cuddle with me...lol...she eventually just gave me her sweatshirt)
The only bad part about all this extra heat is that when he leaves he takes his warmth with him.

But I do have my love to keep me warm in the meantime and that's something :)

okay okay!

good guessing everyone. some of you were very very close! lol

I have been trying to rent out my house and yesterday I finally found great renters and leases were signed and weights were lifted off of shoulders!

I can now live with my husband. Novel concept huh?!

The similarities between trying to rent my house and online dating were making me want to rock in a corner.

I am so glad I don't have to do either anymore!

thanks for guessing everyone!

guess again

if you happened to read my last post and thought I was talking about dating....guess again!

a connection

I wrote my online profile and posted it. There were hopes for good responses, there was anticipation that there would be plenty of losers who would look at the profile too. I crafted the profile to show the good things, to share with the online world what I was looking for. I posted pictures that looked the best, or so I hoped.
And then the waiting. To see who, if anyone, would respond. And then the emails started pouring in. This person wants to meet. That person wants to meet. Are you free soon? When would work best? Here's what I think you would like about me...introductions over email.
I wait anxiously for first meetings. Will they be the one? Will they call if they are late? What happens next? How do I know it's them and not someone else? oh dear.
We meet, things seem good and then no second phone call.
We meet, I am so not interested and they are. figures.
We meet, they have dogs..not my thing but okay sure.
We meet and I send them an email the next day only to be told they are not interested.
Sometimes a meeting time is set and I was left waiting, waiting, waiting. Only to be stood up.

And then one day, they show up and it is love at first sight. For both. Second meetings are arranged, time is spent answering more questions and sharing. Before you know it you know that this is the one. This is the perfect fit.

I love a happy ending.

...any ideas what I'm writing about? just guess...

to much of a good thing

There are endless wedding pictures if you would like to waste some serious time. Just head to our photographer Mary Houk's website and there are 7 albums...yowsa!

Just click on the blue writing that says "see more recent events" and look for all the Lance and Jamie albums :)

a taste

Here is a taste of all of the amazing pictures we had taken. Lance made this video as we were driving back from IA to MN in the car while I drove...he really is an amazing man...

not my day

Today is not my day to die. Or get in a car accident. Thank heavens. It almost was though.

I have never called and complained anywhere before. Ever. Nothing has ever bugged me enough to be worth the effort.

But today I made a call.

I was getting off of the exit near the church when all of a sudden a hotel shuttle from two lanes over swerved my way and almost ran into me as it cut me off and almost ran into the median. I don't know if I was more afraid for my own life or for theirs. I slammed on my brakes and the shuttle continued to barrel ahead and right itself on the road. I instantly checked my rear views to make sure no one was going to rear end me. It was close. A very blue car will be etched into my memory for a long time. As is the logo from the hotel shuttle. I completely freaked. A few deep breaths later and after an adrenaline rush that could likely end in a head ache I continued down the road.

I was still shaking when I called the hotel and asked for a manager.

I don't complain. But today I almost died. That is worth a phone call.

“When he kisses you he isn't doing anything else. You're his whole universe..and the moment is eternal because he doesn't have any plans and isn't going anywhere. Just kissing you...” -Author unknown

tone

We set the tone for our wedding way ahead of time. Lance and I made an intentional decision to set a tone for our special time that included joy and flexibility. No stress, no drama, enjoy everyone and set aside any expectations we hadn't communciated clearly ahead of time. And by us doing that ourselves we were able to set a tone that allowed everyone who came and participated in our celebration the ability to do the same.

I did have one moment of stress when my hair was done but I didn't have my makeup on and thankfully my dear friend heidi grabbed a bag of Rieces Pieces and kept em coming while my friend Kristen stood next to me and laughed. It was just what I needed and before I knew it I was all dolled up and back to being stress free. Amazing what a little ET snackage will do for a girl. (80's reference)

I was so blessed to be able to spend the entire morning with Lance the day of our wedding. We got up early and headed around town and around the country side and just enjoyed eachother and the day. We stopped into this darling little consignment shop to look for something to put on my shoulders in case it was cold in the evening and I found the lovely red scarf I ended up wearing around my neck the whole time because it was just so perfect and really made the outfit. It was not part of any plan but because of the tone we set with being flexible I ended up with a lovely scarf that made everything prettier for me.

As I was rushing out of the hotel room all dolled up, all of the sisters who had arrived and my sister friends were there and at the last second Lance's sister, Barbara, asked if I had something "borrowed". I didn't have anything. She ran up to her room fast and brought down the most lovely bracelett, it was just perfect. If she had come down with something hideous I would have worn it too because truley it is the thought that counts and I was just so blessed she thought of me and was willing to participate in helping me find something "borrowed"...but lucky for me it was more than a little bit lovely.

Setting the tone for being relaxed made for some really special moments with all of the kids who were at the wedding. Nieces and nephews all running through fields of wild flowers, blowing bubbles, just enjoying nature and wide open space. Not getting in trouble for being kids. Giggles and smiles and mischief. It was wonderful.

Such an amazing day from start to finish.

safe in the arms of love

I stood there holding my flowers, listening to the birds sing, smiling at my family as they all found a chair for the ceremony. My heart was in my throat and all of a sudden I realized that I had a long long long way to walk to get to my man. I listened for my cue of music, my sister and her guitar, and began the walk towards the man I have been walking towards my whole life.
I made fun of my little brother Ira at his wedding because he couldn't stand still the whole ceremony. And there I was, wiggling and fidgeting and swaying and hopping...just like him. Guess it serves me right. But man I was filled to overflowing with joy...and I couldn't help it.

I married Lance. I am married to Lance. Lance is my husband. Lance is my safe place. He is my world. He is my heart. He is my protection. My arms of love.

I was thrilled that the photographer captured his look of love as I was walking towards him. These are my two favorite pictures and I thought they should be the first ones I post. Believe me when I say there are a gazillion more but these are my two favorites.