Monday, July 28, 2008
That is how many light switches there are on the first floor.
Every time I go to turn a light on or off I end up turning at least 2 or 3 of the wrong ones on or off first. Not to mention the occasional surprise ceiling fan...
I do not like being in a dark home. Especially when I'm alone. But I am trying to get better at turning off lights because I know it's something Lance wants me to do.
My house in Minneapolis had...maybe 4? I might be forgetting one...so let's say 5.
With this many light switches it should be possible to...
"Live in rooms full of light." ~Cornelius Celsus
If I can just figure out which ones to use...
I tried to add this to my last post but it wouldn't work...and now it will :) so watch and enjoy if you want!
only say nice things though okay? lol we were having fun and wearing wigs so no serious critiques allowed.
jessilynn.com is my sisters website if you want to check her out. I recommend you do!
A little bit country and a little bit rock and roll.
We had some fun.
We wore wigs.
I channeled Cher.
Jess and I in so many ways are opposites, but we love a lot of the same things.
We add things into each others lives that wouldn't be there without the other sister.
Some of it good, some of it bad. Depends on which one you talk to ;)
Lance was the official Elvis impersonating Cher and Pinky videographer/photographer for the weekend. Thus the all access pass worn proudly on his shirt...
We know how to have fun.
Friday, July 25, 2008
The question then became, what fills me up?
Well...the answer for me was...Being alone. Reading. Writing/blogging/pictures. Being alone. Not doing anything. Just being quiet with my thoughts and enjoying my surroundings. I became intentional about only putting things in my house that I found lovely or inspiring. I did a terrible job of having alone time. Maybe one night a week. Reading this last year was not possible with my mono issues. I did a ton of writing/blogging that kind of thing. So why do I still feel so incredibly empty? Maybe I was giving to much and not filling fast enough. I don't know. But I feel like I need to go back to the drawing board and figure it out again.
I still know that the alone thing is a big deal. I like contemplation and silence and being peaceful. That is usually the first thing to go. Typically others don't understand it and demand your time be spent differently, they think you are lonely or boring or unproductive when they find out. And then in typical guilty people pleasing fashion I fill my time with other things and the emptying happens fast again.
I know that writing is something I need to do. Partly because it's one of the only places where I feel like I can clearly communicate what I'm thinking and feeling. And it helps me get some of the things that race around on the inside of me out of my head. Which can be very filling.
I recognize that I crave God's word but again, the things that fill are usually the first to go when busyness and pressures to be busy creep in. Why is that I wonder? Because it's easier to stop doing something for yourself than it is to stop doing things that impact others directly would be my guess.
One other thing that always fills me up is being near the water. A week near an ocean beach and I can go months feeling filled up. In Minneapolis I would go to one of the lakes after a hard day at work and just sit. That was always refreshing. There is a healing quality in water.
Anyways, this devotional was something that I read this week and have been thinking about. I thought it was worth sharing.
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman
"Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed" (Mark 1:35-36).
How do you get refueled? When our cars run low on fuel, we simply drop by the local filling station to get more fuel. When our bodies are hungry, we feed them. How do we refuel our spiritual lives? We can learn from the example Jesus modeled in His life.
In the New Testament we see that Jesus had a very demanding schedule. He traveled from town to town, often walking many miles between the towns. He spent a lot of time with people. As a speaker and teacher I can tell you that it is very draining to minister for extended periods. Your body and your spirit becomes fatigued.
The day before the above scripture was recorded, Jesus had a full day of ministry healing the sick, delivering people from demons and walking to different cities (Mark 1:29-37). The following day it says Jesus got up before the sun rose and went to pray. The disciples were wondering where He was.
When Jesus was on earth, He was fully man. Everything He did was based upon receiving specific directions and power from His father to do them. He was not operating as God, but as a human being with the same limitations you and I have. So, Jesus knew one of the key ways to refuel His mind, body and spirit was by spending time in prayer to His Heavenly Father.
This is a critical discipline for every follower of Jesus if you expect to have power and victory in your Christian walk. We each need to find a solitary place to focus upon the Lord, His Word and His input for our lives.
If this is not a part of your daily experience, why not start tomorrow with a few minutes of focused time of reading and prayer. You will be encouraged with the new spiritual focus you will have by making this a priority.
Nothing here is familiar. The pictures on the walls, the street names, the babies, the people, the restaurants, the Targets. Nothing. It is like being in a foreign country. New language, new streets, new new new.
I can't wait for the day when something feels comfortable. Like it's mine.
I've done this before. It's just been a long long time. I have not complained, I have been doing my best to take it all in and not be overwhelmed but today was hard.
My closet is full of clothes that only make sense in MN. I need to pull half of it out, get rid of two thirds of that half and store the third that's left over for the "mild" winters I hear so much about. But that leaves me with very few outfits. I am trying to be creative in the meantime.
I was finally able to pull out my books and put them on a shelf in one of the guest bedrooms. Those books are like friends to me. I spent most of my childhood with my nose buried in a book. Besides the last year and a half where I lost some of my tracking ability because of Mono, I have always had a book nearby. I reread books too. There's something very comforting about the familiar story lines and characters. Maybe that's what I need to do. Read a book with something familiar in it. I'd be less homesick with them as friends.
This week I reconnected with a friend, Katy, who lives here. She will introduce me to people I'm sure. I am becoming friends with our neighbor, Hannah, she even invited me to go with her to look at wedding gowns (she's getting married next year). Things are good in a lot of ways.
I am going to get involved at church. The job search will kick into high gear once we get back from Canada. I know this is just a short season of transition. It just feels long and not as restful as I hoped it would be. But I guess that's life.
I couldn't sleep tonight. So here I sit, in a dark room with the computer staring at me and an urge to write. I'm sure things will look better tomorrow in the light of day. But sometimes i just can't turn my mind off enough to sleep. And on that note I guess I will make another attempt to sleep.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
See my flickr badge?
Here's what ya do to make one of your own.
Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr search, using only the first page, choose your favorite image, copy and paste each of the URL’s into the mosaic maker (3 columns, 4 rows).
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you attend?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10.What do you love most in life?
11. One word to describe you.
12. Your Flickr name.
1. pointless nostalgic, 2. there's nothing better than summer, 3. Atomic City, 4. The Photographer, 5. DSC08462, 6. 7 2 gatorade, 7. One of each, 8. Daddy, where do brownies come from?, 9. FIRE SHOT, 10. Little Flower, 11. Amazing Thailand, 12. air
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Now here I am in a new city. I've been here roughly 18 days. I do not know my way around. I barely recognize the names of streets that we've been driving on. I feel very much at the mercy of my husband and at the mercy of others who might be directing me places or expecting me to be somewhere. My husband can get to the same destination at least 5 different ways, he does not get lost. I'm sure he finds me very annoying. As do most people who don't get lost. I boggle their minds and their patience I'm sure.
I guess I will just have to figure things out as I need to know them. There is no way I am going to know my way around the whole city in less than a year. But I can find where to get my emissions tested. If I need to go to target I can find my way there. I will figure out how to get to church eventually and when I get a job that will be in my path as well. Everything else I will figure out as I go. And mapquest will be my new bff.
Monday, July 21, 2008
I am here reconnecting with old friends.
And I am here having so much fun with my best friend.
I am enjoying myself here in my new town. We had a barbeque and invited neighbors over, so much fun entertaining together in our home. I was able to go out tonight with a friend from college who is wonderful and have dinner. And of course Lance and I always manage to have a good time together no matter what we are doing. And it's fun to get pictures of all the fun too!
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
And now here I am married to a pilot. I understand that I have a very limited knowledge of what it means to be a pilot. But what I do know is my husband. I know that he is a hard worker. I know he does things with excellence. I know that he is invested completely in the things he loves. I know that he is very intelligent aka-smart and I don't mean SMRT. I know he has good judgement and can asses situations quickly. I know that he can do things with ease that others find mind boggling. I know that he pays attention to details. I know that he is one step ahead all the time, constantly looking forward at all the possibilities.
So while I am just getting an introduction to the job of pilot, I already knew enough about my husband to respect what he did because of who he is. And I do respect him. I also love him and I am proud to be his wife. I am honored to be included in his life. I know he has worked hard with little reward in the past, but I also know that people who work hard don't do it for the reward, they do it because it's the right thing to do. That is something I understand because I have also worked hard with little reward. In fact I've worked hard and ended up with a deficit in many ways but it was still the right thing to do. He understands this. His choices to work hard and keep excelling in a field that can really take it out of you has put him in a place to bless others. I know because he has blessed me.
If he quit his job and moved to a small town in Iowa and made rocking chairs I would still be proud to be his wife and I'd be thankful for what we have and who he is. Because I know he'd make the best rocking chairs around and all the qualities that make him a great pilot would still be his qualities.
I so enjoyed today, walking around the SWA headquarters, getting a little more of a glimpse into the job of pilot. A little more of a glimpse into my husbands world.
I may not have been at his side when he was working harder for less pay. And I may not have been there the day he was hired at SWA...but I am here now and I am proud of my husband and his accomplishments.
Monday, July 14, 2008
I'm no professional paparazzi but here's the best pic I have...kinda fun.
and here's the video from youtube of the song I referred to above...also kinda fun.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
I asked God for strength, that I might achieve;
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked God for health, that I might do greater things;
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy;
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men;
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life;
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I asked for but everything I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am among men, most richly blessed.*
Do we trust God to lead us even though we can't see the pathway in front of us? Do we trust Him to be all-knowing, all-loving, and all-powerful? Do we believe He does all things well? As Paul wrote, "Everything that does not come from faith is sin" (Rom. 14:23). That's why God leads us through the dark places.
Only in the darkness do we learn to walk by faith.
I have struggled with my health.
I have nothing.
If I dwelt on those things I would shrivel up. But I do know how to obey God. And through my sickness this last year and a half I was able to stop doing so many unnecessary things and focus on what was necessary and important. I have learned to be wise because I have nothing.
I don't always obey perfectly and I still get caught up in the unnecessary and sometimes I do stupid things. But I see how it all matters.
I don't know my next step and that is something I am struggling with right now. What is this place where I am? Why God? So many good things and so many unknowns. I have a hard time not worrying about the unknowns. A very hard time.
I guess this was a timely message for me as I am walking and trying not to be so weary. I am believing that my strength and joy will come from my only true source. Jesus.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
We ended the night grilling our first dinner on the new grill. I set a lovely table and lance did his manly grilling thing. What a great day.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Today we went to bb&b to make a return and use up a gift card. We traveled miles to unknown territory to find the bb&b and when we got out of the car I checked to make sure I had the gift card and wouldn't you know it. I hadn't grabbed it at all. I felt so stupid. Where has my short term memory gone? I don't know. It is frustrating though. Lucky for me I have a patient husband who gives me grace. I wish sometimes I could give more of it to myself. But I guess I'm not wired like that for some reason. No one ever has to yell at me because I do it for them. Might seem like a silly thing to some to forget something like that but for some reason it was a big deal to me today.
Other than that big reveal of my stupid thing of the day, it was a nice day spent with my husband. We finally did settle on a king size bed and it arrived today. I am excited to go to sleep tonight. Partly for the bed and partly for a new beginning tomorrow.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
I am: enjoying my new home and just being here
I know: that it won't be long before I am busy again
I want: every day to be good
I wish: all the people I love could be in one place
I hate: mean people
I miss: so much.
I fear: dogs
I feel: restless
I smell: nashville
I hear: nashville
I crave: sugar
I search: for interesting things/people/moments/quotes/blogs you get the idea.
I wonder: what my kids will look like
I regret: ug
I love: love
I ache: to hold brand new babies.
I am not: sure about the future
I believe: the children are the future, teach them well and let them lead the way...oops...song lyrics interupted me..
I dance: in an uncool manner
I sing: because I'm happy
I cried last: saying good bye
I fight: as a last resort
I write: to stay inside out
I win: rarely
I lose: my keys all the time
I am never: happy when a dog licks me
I always: laugh
I confuse: people's names a lot
I listen: to people talk
I can usually be found: smiling
I need: understanding
I am happy: every day
I imagine: that there are many places in the world I would love that I've never been to before.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
They make me laugh laugh laugh.
Every pic we took Beck would scrunch up his face and say "Eewww Yucky Jamie" or "Eewww Yucky Beck". Little miss Evie would touch her face as if to check and make sure she didn't really look that scary. Ash and I laughed and laughed. We got Mr B to join in the fun momentarily, he mostly thought we were nuts though.
Monday, July 07, 2008
So somewhere down the road my prince and I will be investing in a king sized bed. He didn't know when he married me that I was the princess from the princess and the pea story.
'Oh terribly bad!' said the princess. 'I have hardly closed my eyes the whole night! Heaven knows what was in the bed. I seemed to be lying upon some hard thing, and my whole body is black and blue this morning. It is terrible!
I have never truly slept well. It took me about 3 yrs to get it sorted out in my little house alone and now here I am in a new home, with new noises (there is a train somewhere near by...) and a sweet man laying next to me who breathes. Yup. I know, sleep freak. That's me.
So yesterday we began the process of finding a king sized bed. I must say it felt like something out of my imagination...my imagination inspired by mattress commercials over the years. I probably never would have imagined it otherwise...good job mattress marketers.
We laid on bed after bed after bed, I'd turn onto my left side to see if it would fall asleep and my hip would start hurting and he would check to see if his feet were above his heart. lol. How the sales lady kept her composure I do not know. And when he started rolling across all the beds we had already tried to retry them...I did not keep my composure. I giggled. Go figure.
It was a fun process. One I am sure we will repeat a few more times.
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Friday, July 04, 2008
Here's a few pictures of all the delightful parade fun...
Thursday, July 03, 2008
2 yrs old. I thought it was funny that next to "affectionate" my mom wrote "don't touch to much" and next to "bossy" she said "very!" And all the other things she circled as part of my character were pretty much right on too.
I also thought it was interesting that I wasn't happy when I was six. I was happy every other year. Then I thought about it. What was going on in my life at age six? Ira. That would have been what was going on. LOLOLOL. That made me laugh. It was also kindergarten and maybe we moved or something too...but I like to blame Ira. hehe. It makes me happy now.
Well now here I am going into a time of life where nothing really defines me other than me. So it was a good reminder of who I am.
I also read an interesting devotional today...I'll copy and paste it in here...it's about Joy. The scripture verse it uses is one that I have quoted for myself often over the years. "The joy of the Lord is my strength" I like the verse because it talks about joy as a source and it also talks about strength coming from God. That is what I want to come out of my life when it's squeezed.
How's Your Joy Quotient?
TGIF Today God Is First
Volume 2, by Os Hillman07-03-2008
"Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength" (Neh 8:10).
One of the overriding evidences that someone has a genuine relationship with our living Savior is their consistent attitude of joy and outlook on life. A follower of Jesus should not be a person who always looks at life as if the glass is half full. Instead, we should be the most positive people on earth. We should see opportunity in the midst of challenges.
The light that resides in you should be like the beam of a lighthouse to a ship that is seeking direction. Our lives should have the fragrance of Christ. People should be attracted to our lives just as the bee is attracted to the nectar in the colorful flower.
The apostle Paul understood this when he said, "But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life" (2 Cor 2:14-16).
I must admit I've been with some believers whose attitude toward life is more like a porcupine. It's painful to get too close to them because of their negative and poisonous view of life that criticizes the world around them.
No matter what circumstance you may find yourself in, the joy of the Lord must be your strength. Paul learned this truth even in the midst of his adversities. "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength (Phil 4:12-13).
How would others describe your joy quotient? On a scale of 1 to 10, where would they rank you? Today, make a commitment to greet every circumstance knowing that the joy of the Lord is your strength.
I so enjoy sitting around Ira and Ash's house while life happens around me. I napped on the couch while Ira and Evie played and watched tv. Not super restful but peaceful for sure.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
I keep checking my CVC email. I feel like someone with their face pressed up against the glass...peeking in for a few last glances before I completely move on. I think I'll just stop checking it now cause it will be a little depressing when I can't check it because it goes away...yup.
Health is a state of complete harmony of the body, mind and spirit. When one is free from physical disabilities and mental distractions, the gates of the soul open. ~B.K.S. Iyengar
I woke up in WI and went off with my parents to their weekly chiro appt. I brought a book and thought I'd have some time to wait while they went and got their adjustments and whatever else they do at the chiro. yeah. I so did not read my book.
When we walked in there were people hanging from a wall. Something to do with keeping your neck curved. I wanted to laugh but I didn't. I merely watched in fascination. They would walk up to the wall, put their neck in this harness type thing and lean back...hanging from the wall. As if it were the most normal thing in the world.
The rooms where people went to have their adjustments were open and you could watch everyone else get their stuff done. I also watched in fascination as the doctors scooted from room to room and did their chiropractic thing.
After my parents were both adjusted and I met the doctor (very nice man) my mom said they had time to "wobble". oh yeah. that's what she said. I said "what the wobble are you talking about?"
She then proceeded to put a thing on her head with weights on it (the picture above) and grabbed this thing that looked like an oversized bike seat and put it on a chair. And then she proceeded to "wobble". Apparently it lubricates your spine or something. I merely watched in fascination. Before I knew it there were like 12 other people sitting in chairs also "wobbling" Remember that commercial for the toy that said "weebles wobble but they don't fall down" ??? somehow that applied.
Just when I thought I had seen it all.
And now for my opinion on everything.
As crazy as it all looked...there is a method to all the madness. This particular chiropractic center is a christian based place and between the music playing worship songs, the doc's being so kind to their patients, the community that was clearly evident between the people there doing these crazy things..there was a lot of healing going on. I even saw one lady sobbing into the shoulder of another woman who was holding her and being so gentle in the midst of whatever pain was being experienced from the inside while she was waiting for a little healing for her outside. It was very touching.
I have personally always been a fan of chiropractic's. I have curvature of the spine and had to go lots when I was a kid. Every baby I know of who has been born the natural way and has been held in the gentle hands of a chiropractor has benefited and had things solved like unstoppable mystery crying and sleeping through the night. I wore wrist braces in college because randomly I would lose range of motion and experience intense pain in my wrists and a chiropractor friend of mine offered to look at my wrist on a sunday morning and after about 2 seconds and a gentle tug I have never had wrist problems since.
So crazy as it may all be, I actually really agree with the principles behind chiropractic's and have seen the benefits. Before I left the clinic the doctor made sure to get me the contact information for a good friend of his who is also a christian and has a clinic in Nashville. I might just go and meet people. And I might go and experience a little healing too.
Plus, it all made me laugh. And they say laughter is the best medicine right?
So Much to Love
I love people. I love bright eyes. I love my sons, Judah & Lucas. I love laughing. I love my ringtone. I love love. I love Jesus. I love tattoos. I love milk. I love creative expression. I love smiles. I love Philippians. I love bridges. I love my house and haven. I love a rainy night. I love doing nothing. I love almonds and banana chips. I love music. I love cowboy hats. I love Anna Maria Island. I love (diet) dr.pepper. I love a good story. I love wildflowers. I love to fly. I love rod iron. I love babies. I love going to the movies. I love midnight. I love allegra. I love sunsets. I love long kisses. I love the color red. I love starshollow. I love community. I love doing life with friends. I love witty banter. I love jessilynn.com. I love my family. I love pretty things. I love cruisin' with my girls. I love remembering when. I love authentic individuals. I love hot tamales. I love when kids giggle. I love Lance. I love bonfires. I love finding people I thought I'd lost. I love yard sales. I love tacobell. I love seeing people do good. I love violins and steel guitar. I love driving to the airport. I love seeing people around me succeed at their dreams. I love being included. I love flipflops. I love blogging. I love long talks. I love dreaming.