Monday, September 29, 2008
I have been worrying I'd wear the few people (new city, new job, new life) out who are around me right now with how sick i've been and i am waiting with baited breath for them to start being mad at me for not being well or being short with me because now I must be faking it cause who is really sick this long? well the answer is me. I am still this sick. and it's because this is how my body responds to being pregnant. personally I have been sick of the sick since the first time I puked and when I reached the point of desperation of needing my sister to basically take care of me because i couldn't care for myself. of all the people who are sick of me being sick. I am the sickest of it all.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
I keep dreaming about food. hungry I am. able to eat I am not. but the dreams are nice.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Lance comes home tomorrow instead of sunday. I am so glad. I hate being alone. especially when I don't feel good. I keep checking his blog like there's going to be something new but of course there isn't, it's just nice to be connected to him even if it's through words he wrote.
Jessi's dog Cami is still here with me and bored out of her mind I think. She only really likes jessi and misses her a lot. I miss her too. She'll be back on sunday night I think but she won't be here much longer after that. boo hoo. I like my sister.
okay. that's about it for an update here. my world is small and revolves around a puke bucket. so not much to write about. just trying to stay positive takes energy I don't have. but I'm working on it.
it is strange to be 12 weeks pregnant and to be losing weight instead of gaining. don't worry, my docs know. but my jeans are all crazy fitting these days. guess for most it's growing out of jeans and mine are falling off. I know that will change at some point, but for now I keep hiking them up.
really. that's about it for an update now.
smiles to all and thanks for the nice comments, they do help.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
I told her I was nervous and she said "why, all you do is sleep anyway" lol that made me laugh. I do sleep a lot. I don't puke when I'm sleeping. But the short times I am awake, she is a huge help. I know she must be bored out of her mind and is so ready for an adventure that doesn't involve a sick sister.
But I confess I am nervous. I kept singing the lyrics to that Leanne Rimes song "How will I live with out you...How will I breathe with out you" you know the one? lol I told her that and we both laughed. but seriously. how will I live? simply and probably with a mess near by since I barely have the energy for the basics in life much less the luxury of cleaning and tidying.
sigh. I know it might seem a little dramatic but it's not. at least not in my mind. :(
Monday, September 22, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
I told you this was a bit of a rant. Blame my pregnancy hormones.
The thing that got me was that in the debate going on in the comments someone used a scritpure and basically said that "everything is permissible" so why not do whatever...essentially that is what I read in a ton of what people were replying. It made me wonder if people actually read their bibles anymore. I mean...the scritpure reads "Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is helpful. Everything is permissible for me, but I will not allow anything to control me." 1 Cor 6:12 That is so much different then "everything is permissible" Any decision you make in this life you could somehow justify in the end. That is the problem with making decisions based on the moment and current need instead of on your values. This applies to so much more than money matters. I realize we live in a post modern culture where truth is relative but I don't buy it. I think truth is truth and you live your life from what that truth is.
I mean. Ug.
Sorry. I am getting it out of my system blog style. The crazy thing is that the issue talked about on his blog isn't what got me riled up. It was the logic people were using for their arguments either way. Clearly post modern is taking over the worlds thinking. How can we possibly communicate truth and values that don't change with circumstances in this day and age?
I am a fan of making decisions based on my beliefs not the other way around. okay. deep breaths. I haven't eaten in a while (which means I haven't puked in a while...) so maybe that explains my rant to an extent.
on to my next meeting!
(ps. I have had some better moments with this pregnancy...I can't say better "days" yet...but moments...it's a step up and for that I am grateful. Thanks everyone for praying for me. That is the most help it seems.)
Friday, September 12, 2008
So Much to Love
I love people. I love bright eyes. I love my sons, Judah & Lucas. I love laughing. I love my ringtone. I love love. I love Jesus. I love tattoos. I love milk. I love creative expression. I love smiles. I love Philippians. I love bridges. I love my house and haven. I love a rainy night. I love doing nothing. I love almonds and banana chips. I love music. I love cowboy hats. I love Anna Maria Island. I love (diet) dr.pepper. I love a good story. I love wildflowers. I love to fly. I love rod iron. I love babies. I love going to the movies. I love midnight. I love allegra. I love sunsets. I love long kisses. I love the color red. I love starshollow. I love community. I love doing life with friends. I love witty banter. I love jessilynn.com. I love my family. I love pretty things. I love cruisin' with my girls. I love remembering when. I love authentic individuals. I love hot tamales. I love when kids giggle. I love Lance. I love bonfires. I love finding people I thought I'd lost. I love yard sales. I love tacobell. I love seeing people do good. I love violins and steel guitar. I love driving to the airport. I love seeing people around me succeed at their dreams. I love being included. I love flipflops. I love blogging. I love long talks. I love dreaming.