Have a Heart

3 ring circus

I am in wisconsin and in some crazy version of a three ring circus. Ah family time. Suzanne is my moms friend (that's the short story) and we are staying at her house, her adopted daughter Tisha is 5 and was a shaken baby, she wobbles around, screams and hits the button on electronic toys for hours at a time, enough to drive anyone around her crazy. Liamante is 4 tomorrow and he is darling with his little glass eye and grumpy looks. He is new to foster care, a cancer survivor (we think) and you can tell he's sad to not be with his mom, she is having a baby in a few days and he'll be back with her in a month probably but in the meantime he's here and totally doesn't understand why Tisha is so big with a baby sized brain doing crazy things. My dad is here too, he's 78 and not very mobile, he falls a lot and recently fell and hurt his ribs...so every so often, all of a sudden he clutches his side and yells "Oh!Ah!" and startles anyone around him. My mom directs this circus going between person to person making sure everyone has what they need and keeps the craziness to a minimum. Suzanne's other daughter Karah is 8 and about the sweetest thing you ever met, she stays out of the way and helps where she can. Then there's the puppy. Ug. He jumps on everything and chews on everything...he spends time in his kennel watching the circus and barking when he wants out, they have a dog whisperer coming to visit on monday. I'm sure with my big belly and constant runs to the bathroom I contribute to the circus in my own way. Jessi escaped out of the house for a night of sushi, music and friends, she can only handle the circus in small doses.
Tomorrow is the baby shower and more craziness will ensue. It will be fun and memorable for sure.

I miss wearing my wedding ring.

I had an amazing time in Anna Maria with my darling husband.

I am leaving tomorrow for some time in Wisconsin for a baby shower and family time.

I'll have lots of pics to share from both trips eventually :)

I miss my husband whenever I am not with him.

Beach Ball

I will likely look a little bit like a beach ball when we get to Anna Maria :) 2 months left and looking like it for sure. I am hoping to get a few good pictures at the beach, we will see how that goes...
I'm pretty much packed and ready to go, tomorrow morning will come quickly.

love fest

Last night for Valentines day we had a party.  A love fest if you will :)  Besides the 4 of us who live here we also invited our neighbors over and my sister had a friend who joined us too.  Folks came over at about 5:00 and that's when we started getting everything ready, we grilled and made fajitas, it took us a good hour to get it all together and everyone helped a little.  Family dinner is what I call that, you may not be related but you act like family and everyone pitches in and does a little.  It makes for some chaos and for lots of laughs.

After we finally sat down to eat we were all laughing and having a good time and the fun just continued.  Lance got everyone talking and answering questions, we played the ice breaker game "truth truth lie"...which was hilarious because everyone felt conflicted about lying but did it anyways :)  and we figured out who was good at spotting a lie in the group so we now know who never to bother lying to.  hehe.  

After that ran it's course I asked that the 3 people in the group who were singer song writers to have a Lockhart Writers Round.  So Jess got her guitar and brought it down and the musical fun began.  It was fun to hear 3 talented people share a little bit of their talent with the rest of us.  And of course Lance who participates in everything joined the fun and wrote a couple songs on the spot and "sang" them for us and had us all in tears laughing...clever lyrics, great entertainment and bad singing all mixed into one makes for a good time ;) Thanks Lance.  Before we knew it it was almost 11:00 and we called it a night.  

It was such a nice time and so great to be surrounded with new and old friends in our home.  A regular love fest.

Once upon a time I fell in love with an Island.  Anna Maria Island.  

Once upon a time I fell in love with a man.  Lance man.

Next week I am going to introduce them to each other.  

Honey moon, Baby moon, First Wedding Anniversary, engagement anniversary, Valentines day all wrapped into one.  

Bliss.

Love is a many splendid thing! All you need is love...

I love Lance!  

sleeping is an exercise in futility.  

this child wants out and is trying to punch/kick his way out.

I hate puking.  hate it hate it hate it hate it.  

two months left.  I feel like it will go fast, I hope so.

this child will be easy compared to pregnancy. 

anyone know what you really learn in a birthing class?  we might not be able to go to one since they are offered at times when Lance is working.  I actually think I am okay with not going to one if it's going to somehow make me worry more or be too informative.  

I feel nervous constantly and don't know why.  just lots of unknown I guess and probably being tired doesn't help.

I feel like my life is revolving around this pregnancy right now and i have nothing else really all that interesting to say or contribute to the world at the moment.  

and that's that.

I have already grown bored with the pink.  So a new look for the blog already.  This one might stick a little longer.  We will see.

Thanks LG :) for telling me how itsy bitsy the font was, it looked different on my computer with how I was doing stuff.  I think I fixed it so it's readable now :)  let me know if it's still to hard to read, I can always look for another template...I'm no html code expert so not sure I could change more than I already have without getting in over my head.  But I'd try for my dear readers :)  

survey says!

1. Where is your cell phone?  on the coffee table
2. Your significant other? on the computer

3. Your hair? on my head :)  

4. Your mother?  sent me this survey, I love her.

5. Your father? misses me and I miss him too.

6. Your favorite thing?  Vanilla Frosty from Wendy's

7. Your dream last night?  Lots of icky dreams lately.  try to forget them

8. Your favorite drink?  MILK!!!  

9. Your dream/goal?  to survive pregnancy and go from there..

10. What Room are you in?  living room

11 Your hobby?  blogging

12. Your fear?  giving birth and getting fat

13 Where do you want to be in 6 years?  working again

14 Where were you last night?  on the couch

15 Something that you aren't?  mean

16 Muffins?  yes please

17 Wish list item?  all the stuff we still need for baby

18. Something you're not?  short

19. Last thing you did? organized my life in papers.  endless project but I think I'm done.

20 What are you wearing? maternity pants, maternity shirt, lance's sweatshirt :)

21 Your TV? background noise

22 Your pets? none

23 Friends? many and far spread

24 Your life? simple

25 Your mood? good

26 Missing someone? ashley and my mom

27 Your car? Honda CRV

28 Something you're not wearing? my wedding bands, my fingers swell.

29 Your favorite store? Target!  and Patina but they don't have one in Nashville.

30 Your favorite color? Red

31 When is the last time you laughed?  I laugh at Lance all the time.

32 Last time you cried? uh...I cry all the time.  hormones.

33 Four places that I go to over and over again. Church, grocery store, Wendy's, Airport

34 Five people who email me regularly? Kristen, Heidi, Mom...that's all I can think of right now.

35 Four places I would like to go right now:  Anna Maria Island, Minneapolis, St. Louis, Wisconsin

So I am 7 months pregnant, I am due in April and I am a bridesmaid in a wedding in June. The dilemma.  

What size dress do I get?  

I went and got measurements today, not exactly a self-esteem booster.  They could only take my bust size.  I told the lady that the person I am ordering the dress from wanted a hip measurement too and she said that there was no point.  I had her do it anyways and really it was below my belly/waste so probably not useful.  

When I was talking to the dress shop owner he was saying I would probably get two sizes bigger before the baby is born and might lose one size by the wedding (mommy) and because bridesmaid dresses run small he would kindly waive the plus size fee.  (gulp)  This was pre measurements...and the lady at the dress shop I went to said to have him call her so maybe she could help him figure out a good size to go with...not to mention the whole being 6'1" that has them all in a tizzy too.  Pregnant and tall.  Apparently not a dress makers dream client :)  

I will probably NOT be posting what size we decide to go with.  I am going to somehow convince myself it's just a number.  (sigh)  And pray it's close to fitting so I don't have to spend to much money on alterations or safety pins :)  

I already told the bride that she is lucky I love her so dang much because a seven month pregnant woman who cries about every two days because of her size and is getting measured for a bridesmaid dress really must love the person asking them to do it :)  I take great comfort in the fact that at almost all weddings no one looks at anyone other than the bride.  And she will be stunning I am sure.  And some day when she is seven months pregnant and calling me and crying I will remind her how much I love her :)  And I will have the bridesmaid dress to prove it!  

a great devotional. check it out.

Deep Things
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman
02-02-2009

"He reveals the deep things of darkness and brings deep shadows into the light" (Job 12:22).

One of the great mysteries of the Kingdom is how God uses the darkest times in our lives to reveal greater depths of understanding of His ways. The only way we can receive these deeper things is to be driven to the depths of darkness. It is here that we discover important truths that He plans to use in our lives and the lives of others.

There is a process God uses to draw us into greater levels of intimacy. The first phase involves a depth of soul experience that causes great pain in our lives. We seek God for deliverance from the incredible emotional pain this causes. Our primary motivation for seeking God is to get out of our pain.

During this time, God meets us in the depths of darkness. We discover that He never left us but is in the midst of the darkness. We develop a newrelationship with God. Gradually our motivation turns from removal of pain to love and intimacy with God. This is the place our Heavenly Father desires us to be.

During this season God will make spiritual deposits into your life. Others will be making withdrawals in the future from your life as well. You see, God reveals deep things in darkness that will be revealed in the light.

If you find yourself in great distress, know that God will bring your deep shadows into the light. The key to your deliverance is becoming satisfied in God. He becomes your all. He is your life. You will know your deliverance is near when your circumstances simply don't matter to you anymore.

Love the Lord your God with all your soul and see what things He will show you in the deep things of darkness.

I've felt really ick the last week...not sure why.  Then yesterday at church I found myself in the ladies restroom getting really sick...felt like old times...I can't even begin to count how many times I have gotten sick at church.  sheesh.  I spent the rest of the day on the couch eating saltines and drinking water.  I actually slept all through the night last night.  Didn't wake up once to go to the bathroom.  Which is quite a feat if you have ever been prego.  I am feeling a little better this morning and I am hoping for no repeats of yesterday.  Thanks to all who are praying for my health.

So a night of uninterrupted sleep and I dreamt all night about how I was going to have to give my baby up when it was born.  I had somehow agreed to give it to one of my friends who was going to be moving to europe once the baby was born.  I was devastated.  I didn't want to give my baby up and decided to change my mind and boy did I get it in my dream from everyone for changing my mind.  Everyone kept yelling at me and telling me what I was doing was wrong but I couldn't get over the fact that I would be giving away my baby.  I finally woke up and had to talk myself into believing it was just a dream.  I get to keep my baby.  I hate dreams like that.  I have a feeling it has something to do with watching that movie Baby Mama.  Very fun movie but apparently it bothered me more than I realized.  

anyhoooo....have a wonderful day and say hi if you want!  smiles!