The day started out with Lance leaving for work. We just had the best few days together. I don't know why it was so great but it was. I loved every minute. It was sad to see him leave but I loved watching him go ;-) lol he is a handsome man. and he's all mine :)

Judah took a 3 hr nap this morning. I got a nap in too.

I had a baby shower to go to for a friend...I now have 3 friends :) maybe more, I had such a nice time at the shower and got to talk to some moms I've just seen at church. nice. And not only did I have fun but I won a game...starbucks gift card joy! and the guest of honor actually had a baby gift for me...she made a blanket...I want to say crochet but I have no idea what the difference is between knitting and crocheting...either way it is a perfectly soft and wonderful blanket in browns and blues and just special cause it is hand made.

My neighbor Hannah saw me trying to get all my stuff out of the house (baby gifts and such) and I still hadn't gotten the baby and she offered to help me get out to the car, that was so nice. I wish I could help her more as she and her new husband are moving into their first home they just bought on friday. It is hard to help with a baby though and they know it and don't even seem to expect the help. I still feel bad though...maybe there will be another way to help. I'll keep my eyes peeled.

Judah was a joy at the shower. I wasn't sure if it was kosher to bring him but since I didn't have anyone to watch him we came as a pair. He smiled, looked around and was generally pleasant. I nursed him towards the end before the car ride home and that went good too. I wasn't sure at first but it was that or baby melt down and I figured nursing was better. No one even looked twice.

We loaded into the car to head home and with in about two minutes I looked into the rear view mirror and saw Judah's sweet sleeping baby face in his baby mirror. It was a half hour drive so it was a nice late afternoon nap for him.

I don't know why I felt the need to blog about this day in particular but for some reason there was a moment in the car when I looked and saw Judah sleeping where my heart just seemed to overflow.

I am a blessed woman. On my worst day I feel it...on a great day like today I can hardly believe how blessed I am.

being positive

There are things that pregnancy does to you. Things you can't change. So you try to be positive about. One of those things would be....

Stretch marks.

Found this little writing and it gives a positive spin. A much needed positive spin...

A mark for every breath you took, every blink, every sleepy yawn. One for every time you sucked your thumb, waved hello, closed your eyes and slept in the most perfect darkness. One for every time you had the hiccups. One for every dream you dreamed within me.It isn't very pretty anymore. Some may even think it ugly. That's OK. It was your home. It's where I first grew to love you, where I lay my hand as I dreamed about who you were and who you would be. It held you until my arms could, and for that, I will always find something beautiful in it
~Cassie Fox

It's beginning to look a lot like...

Wanna know what I'm looking forward to? It's kind of a little early but I can't help it...I am looking forward to adding a christmas family photo to the millions taken over the years by the many families that have gone before me. It will be cheesy and stereotypical and perfect. And it will get mailed in a christmas card to whoever I have an address for :) lol

I am also looking forward to taking Judah to a mall, sitting him on a perfectly jolly looking strangers lap and probably watching him cry while his photo is taken.

I can't wait for the holiday's!

Here are a few fun family photo's from years gone by I found on google...enjoy!

All you need is love. And a walmart :)

The Lockhart Love adventures!

I thought we were going out for breakfast.

Turns out we were going to memphis. :)

Lance was a little inspired...bad road snacks are funner up the nose.

Yup, I said funner.

Driving down music highway.

Judah needs some blue suede shoes i think.

Can we get those at Walmart ya think?

We got to the Peabody hotel and had a peek at the ducks.

Sadly someone had just jumped out of the 13th floor and died.

Way to exciting.

We didn't stay long.

So True.

Can you find my hunka hunka burnin' love in this picture?

and yes, I mean Lance...not Elvis :)

He was doing the jail house rock when we are in the ghetto!

or something like that...

Walkin' in Memphis. Walkin' with my feet ten feet off of Beale.

Judah is going to be nothin but a hound dog soon, cryin all the time..sleep is calling

After a fun night of hotel living...

we headed to our dear friend Elvis's house to hang out.

I'm all shook up.

Uh huh huh.

Are you lonesome tonight..

Thank you, thank you very much

Elvis has left the building!

But I think he's still alive...really...I do...

Well, since my baby left me,

I found a new place to dwell.

Its down at the end of lonely street

At heartbreak hotel.

You make me so lonely baby,

I get so lonely,

I get so lonely...I could...sign your wall!

Love me tender elvis..er..i mean lance..

Why talk about taking a trip...just do it!

Very satisfying.

A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation aint satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me
Satisfy me baby

Baby close your eyes and listen to the music
Drifting through a summer breeze
Its a groovy night and I can show you how to use it
Come along with me and put your mind at ease

A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation aint satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me
Satisfy me baby

Come on baby Im tired of talking
Grab your coat and lets start walking
Come on, come on
Come on, come on
Come on, come on
Dont procrastinate, dont articulate
Girl its getting late, gettin upset waitin around

A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation aint satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me
Satisfy me baby

So here's the thing. I have been on one side of the story for a long time and I know that it is good to start leaving your babies in the nursery sooner than later. I know this. Now I am on the other side of the story...and I have a baby who takes a while to warm up to anything new. New environment, new people. Both kind of send him clutching his mom or dad. Once he warms up he is fine. He does better at warming up when he isn't hungry or tired. If he is either of those two things then you may as well not bother.
We attempted the church nursery today. He was heading towards tired, shouldn't have been to hungry...but he still only lasted probably 10/15 minutes before major melt down and they called me. He was there for a total of 20 minutes. It was a good start. I will try again...I will probably go in with him and stay for a while until he seems "warmed" up. I know from being on the other side of the story that sometimes that really can help. (Partly why I don't agree with nursery's that don't allow parents into their kids rooms and why I always did allow it and in fact encouraged it...)
When I picked him up he settled down a bit, he started to nod off in the car seat on our ride home...I pulled him out of the seat to nurse him and hopefully get him to sleep and boy did he melt down fast...and it lasted the longest he's ever cried. 40 long minutes. At one point I had to put him down, walk away, take a deep breath, drink some water and then started back with trying to comfort him. He eventually nursed for a couple minutes and then crashed hard. He is sleeping away now.
Our church is changing their service times here in the near future and I am really hoping it helps. The further we are away from nap time the better he will do I think.

oh boy. what a day. I think I need a nap now too.

Captivating

Captivating-John & Staci Eldredge
I am thinking about pulling this book out again and re reading it. I keep thinking about how it really captures what we as women struggle with. "I am too much. I am not enough." I feel those things often. So often. When I think I've finally resolved them something else happens and I have to start over. It makes me tired to think about it.

Here are some of the discussion questions from the Journal...I found them online...I got rid of the journal because I got rid of a lot of things. I probably should have kept it.

I am not prepared to answer these questions in a blog forum but thought they were good enough to share, maybe some of the ladies who read this blog might find it thought provoking.

Anyone else read this book? What did you think?



Unseen, Unsought, and Uncertain

I know I am not alone in this nagging sense of failing to measure up, a feeling of not being good enough as a woman. Every woman I've ever met feels it--something deeper than just the sense of failing at what she does. An underlying, gut feeling of failing at who she is. I am not enough, and, I am too much, at the same time.

Have you ever felt that way? Are you feeling it these days? In what ways?

The result is Shame, the universal companion of women. It haunts us, nipping at our heels, feeding on our deepest fear that we will end up abandoned and alone.

After all, if we were better women--whatever that means--life wouldn't be so hard. Right?

Do you believe that? That if you were "better" life wouldn't be so hard? "Better" in what ways?

Why is it so hard to create meaningful friendships and sustain them? Why do our days seem so unimportant, filled not with romance and adventure but with duties and demands? We feel unseen, even by those who are closest to us. We feel unsought--that no one has the passion or the courage to pursue us, to get past our messiness to find the woman deep inside. And we feel uncertain--uncertain what it even means to be a woman; uncertain what it truly means to be feminine; uncertain if we are or ever will be.

Do you feel like you know what it means to be a true woman? Do you feel like you are?

Aware of our deep failings, we pour contempt on our own hearts for wanting more. Oh, we long for intimacy and for adventure; we long to be the Beauty of some great story. But the desires set deep in our hearts seem like a luxury, granted only to those women who get their acts together. The message to the rest of us--whether from a driven culture or a driven church--is Try Harder.

Do you resonate with that? Do you ever feel that way? How have you--how are you now--"trying harder?"

Celebrate Friendship!

Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things.  ~Author Unknown

I was gifted Amish Friendship Bread by my friend Katie.  I toted it to Wisconsin in my luggage and made a batch with my mom and left a few starters with her and packed a starter in my luggage for my return home.  I made a batch of it this last week and actually had a few friends to give starters to!  That made me feel good.  I was able to send some to work with Lance to enjoy and I even brought it out while I had my neighbor over for dinner and it was our dessert. 

I was going to take a starter to a friend of mine today at church but little baby J decided to nap for 3 hrs instead of his normal 1 hr.  Oh well, just gives me an excuse to run by her house later :)

Friendship is a necessary part of life.  Especially as a woman.  I mean...blogging is nice, facebook is great but a real life friend?  That is a necessity!  Now that I am back to being human instead of pregnant I have more energy to invest in friendships.  Look out world!   

memory lane

A year ago today I found out I was pregnant. Oh how my life has changed!

all things Judah

Judah factoids:

He does baby push ups.  Sometimes when I wish he was sleeping :)

He grabs things and holds on.  He especially loves his moose and his lion.

He walks around our living room in his walker and "complains" when he gets stuck, he just wants to go go go.

He smiles, he laughs, he coos. I adore him.

He tracks everything with his eyes.  He is always watching what goes on around him.

He is in love with ceiling fans and light fixtures.  His fave.

He still hasn't rolled over...I don't really let him...I enjoy being able to lay him on the bed still.

He sleeps great at night...naps not so much.

He splashes all the water out of his whale baby bath tub.  He loves to splash!

He is wearing 9 and 12 month clothes.  He is 20# and every ounce is kissably cute!

He has gone swimming a couple times now and loves the water.  Recently he "surfed" the Y's pool on his daddy's abs...if his foot slipped he would put it back and rebalance himself.  What a smarty!

The very first thing he does when he wakes up is smile.  I have another morning person on my hands it seems :)

He is a sweet sweet baby and I am happy to be his mom.

nuts about SWA

Judah had his first flight and he was so great!  No crying at all and all smiles.  People kept commenting about how they had never seen a baby so good on a flight...followed by a recent horror story of being trapped on a plane by a really fussy kid.  yay Judah!  

At one point Lance was carrying Judah and as usual was about 10 paces ahead of me (he is always leaving me in the dust...i'm slow, what can I say.) and I heard this lady say "A pilot with a baby?!"  hahaha.  super funny.  I suppose if a pilot was running through the terminal holding a baby and it appeared there was no one else with him...that would be quite a sight.  

Anyhow, I'm very proud of my little man for being such a great traveler.  What a cute little peanut!