Psalm 121:2 My help comes from the LORD...

So the latest with me...

I have been on the zofran pump for a couple weeks now...almost. They upped my doses last saturday and things got a lot better. I could actually eat some somewhat normal foods besides pretzals and toast.

I am now also on steroids to help with the really really really bad heartburn I have been suffering. Since I started on it, I have had 2 days in a row where I didn't throw up. Feels like a miracle.

My Sister in Law, Jessica Larson, is coming down to spend a month or so with me and help me out with Judah and keeping me company and cooking and whatever...she is bringing her two sweet kiddo's too which Judah will LUV. They arrive tonight and I am beyond happy about this. They are stepping up in my hour of need in a way I never would have expected, but I am SO blessed by.

I am getting better at the zofran pump and dealing with the needles and healing up the sites...which is good...it was uber painful at first...it still is but much more manageable.

So that's the latest and greatest...

thanks for all the prayers and words of encouragement.

I know that this is all "worth it" in the end...but in the meantime...just trying to get through each day.

One day at a time...

I was just perusing the HER website...this list made me cry...it's basically where I am at. It is hard to keep positive when you feel all of this. But I am trying. Our motto this pregnancy has been "One day at a Time".

I started on the zofran pump yesterday. It is emotionally draining to stick a needle into your stomach every day in a new spot and try to heal the "site" where the first needle was. But I didn't throw up. So I guess it's a small victory in a way.

I do want this baby. I just wish I had a fast forward button.

I do so appreciate the support people have offered...helping with Judah, helping around the house...I would be a total mess with out it. Heck, I still am, but a grateful mess.

Gotta go change my syringe. sigh... :(

1. Be aware of what may make her feel depressed, guilty, anxious and/or frustrated and try to proactively resolve or minimize their influence:
   • Lack of understanding & support from others
   • Inability to take vitamins, or eat healthy
   • Taking medications perceived as risky
   • Missing out on the "fun" of being pregnant
   • Loss of a "normal" pregnancy
   • Lost work days or quitting work
   • Putting life "on hold" for many months
   • Longing to eat and drink normally
   • Money expended on care and support
   • Lack of energy and severe fatigue
   • Irritability and lack of enjoyment in life
   • Memory loss or inability to think clearly
   • Burden of care and time on others
   • Lack of socialization (i.e. isolation)
   • Inability to prepare for birth/arrival of baby
   • Inability to care for family and home
   • Wanting to terminate the pregnancy to end the misery
   • Other's perception that HG is only in her mind
   • Loss of hope that nausea will cease before birth
   • Fear of painful treatments or being force fed
   • Reluctance of doctors to treat due to cost or liability
   • Weight loss or inadequate gain for gestational age of baby
   • Fluctuating emotions due to hormones and illness
   • Sense of inadequacy and failure at being unable to cope or function
   • Fear of harming baby or more difficult birth
   • Fear of morbidity or death
   • Difficulty bonding with baby
   • Lack of energy and socialization for kids
   • Lack of excitement about baby's arrival
   • Dreading the prolonged recovery time

play dates without mommy...

All through my really bad morning sickness I have had friends picking Judah up and taking him on little adventures. It is such a blessing to have people who care about me and about my son. I am so thankful. It isn't fair to Judah to have to suffer along with me...granted he doesn't really mind and it's probably more mommy guilt than anything, but I am still thankful for friends who are willing to go the extra mile for us.

Today my friend Tami picked him up and took him to a music class and then to lunch at chick-fil-a ...she has a sweet daughter who is a little younger than Judah and they get along grand. Judah was all excited to go, we got his little back pack ready with what he needed, a rain coat and of course his puppy :) Oh I love my little man.

I can't get over how sweet he is. Yes, he's 2 and has his share of "terrible" moments...but he has more sweet moments that more than make up for them...

His thing lately is to say he "needs" everything...

"I NEED chocolate mommy!"
"I NEED your water mommy!"

and the list goes on....what a great kid :)

checking in

I'm alive. I am. Still sick all the time, but alive. I have not been online much at all. Zero energy for it. The energy I do have needs to be used for things like feeding my 2 yr old son...ha.

I am 13 weeks tomorrow.

I started going to acupuncture this week to see if it might help with all the nausea and sickness. I'm still wearing the sea bands on my wrists. I take zofran. I am on heartburn meds. I go to sleep at 8:00 every night or else like clock work I throw up at 8:30. I take unisom because it supposedly helps with nausea...but I only take it at night cause I don't want to be sleeping in the day.

Lance is healing good from his knee surgery. He was home for 3 weeks and went back to work last night. I think he has had enough idle time to last him ages. He does not do idle time well. But it is paying off in a healed knee.

I got to see my sister this week, she was here for less than 24 hrs but it was great. She really encouraged me and we did some devotional reading that was just what I needed.

I guess that's all I got for now. I will try not to wait so long before I blog again. And maybe if I start feeling better I'll actually post some pictures and be more interesting...we'll see :)